I came across a book that has a lot of the same feelings that I have about sex, punishment, fetishes, the lifestyle… “The Darker Side of Pleasure” This is an excerpt from this book.
She had lived with this void inside of her for the longest time, had felt these urges since childhood. She remembered being 12 or 13 and remembered that the first awakening of her self as a sexual being, becoming aware of what she wanted when the priest or one of the nuns paddled her. And once she recognized her desires, no amount of petting with clumsy teenaged boys could quench the pure need raging inside of her.
Her college boyfriends had been no better. After she’d asked one of them to spank her, he’d told her she was a freak and never called her again. And that’s how she’d thought of herself for a long time; a freak. It had been a relief, finally, to have other people like her on the internet and in books she’d read. People who felt these same dark urges, who needed the same things she needed.
But now she knew. She knew what she wanted, and it appeared as though she was going to get it – in ways she hadn’t even imagined.
This was a revelation. The full weight of what she was doing hadn’t really struck her until Master Robert had her over his lap. This sense of yielding she’d felt with him was so much more then she could have hoped for. That sense of giving over control. She felt more a woman then she ever had before. And she felt more natural about the yearnings that had haunted her all of her adult life.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Lifestyle
I was asked if I get off on being disciplined and the more harsh the discipline is, it excites me even more… I was thinking about this and I have to say as I was growing up and in my 20’s I never thought I would be into the D/s lifestyle. In fact, if you would have asked me then I would say that it sounds like abuse and I would never subject myself to this. But about 4 or 5 years ago I started reading into the lifestyle and I have fantasized about it ever since.
I like the discipline from Master C. I know that he cares for me and has my best interest in mind. I am safe with him. I am comfortable. I adore how he treats me and I respect his rules. This lifestyle appeals to me. It puts less stress on me knowing I have someone there to help me when I need it and get mental support from him. And in return I have agreed to serve Master C with any desire he might have.
I like the discipline from Master C. I know that he cares for me and has my best interest in mind. I am safe with him. I am comfortable. I adore how he treats me and I respect his rules. This lifestyle appeals to me. It puts less stress on me knowing I have someone there to help me when I need it and get mental support from him. And in return I have agreed to serve Master C with any desire he might have.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Dirty Little Slut
It has taken me several days to write this story...mainly because I wrote it from a man's point of view. (I hope I did it justice) It is fantasy but a lot of what was said are actually words that Master C or myself have used. Please let me know what you think. ENJOY
You've been masturbating again without my permission - you think I don't know, but I can always tell. Your scent fills the air as I walk into the bedroom. Such a bad girl.
And you know what a slut you are - you know how much trouble you're in - you know that I've forbidden you to touch yourself when I'm not here, and you know the consequences of your actions. Perhaps you weren't expecting me to come home and discover you like this. Though it looks pretty deliberate to me. You're showing no shame whatsoever. Just look at you - sat there at your computer with your hand down your panties, your pussy clearly dripping wet - I can hear it as you stroke yourself, not stopping even though I've walked into the room. Just looking at me, continuing to masturbate right in front of me, challenging me - such a dirty little slut.
I think you know how bad you've been. I think you know I'm going to have to punish you.
You're looking back at me rebelliously. You know that you should submit, that you should be asking my forgiveness, begging me - but today submission doesn't seem to be something you want to give readily. As I step towards you, watching you, you smile at me wickedly, still stroking your clit in rhythmic circles, occasionally slipping your fingers into your cunt, gasping and trembling a little, then returning to the rhythm. You know I love watching you like this, you know how much I love to watch you masturbate, how much it arouses me - but you also know that this is a direct challenge to my authority. You want things your own way. Greedy little slut. That's not the way it's going to happen today.
I move closer to you, stepping right in front of you, watching you, smiling, but not speaking to you. You continue to stroke yourself, opening your thighs wider, tugging the crotch of your panties aside to display your sex to me, sliding your fingers across it, pushing them inside yourself again. I can see you glancing down to my crotch, seeing the bulge of my erection in my pants. You know you've aroused me, and you like that - perhaps you assume that by arousing me, you'll escape your punishment.
I don't think so.
I'm stood between your thighs now, looking down at you as you masturbate on your chair. You look directly into my eyes, still challenging me - your gaze is greedy and lustful. I slide my fingers gently across your cheek, smiling wickedly at you, brushing my fingers up through your hair - you tremble a little, looking me in the eye again, smiling at me. "Fuck me..." you say. It's not a request, it's a demand. But your demand has sealed your fate.
My fingers slip through your hair, winding a little around my hand, taking a firm grip - before you can protest, I pull your head back sharply, holding it there, baring your neck, looking down at you.
"Dirty little slut", I say.
You gasp, your fingers still stroking your clit, rubbing a little faster now. But my grip is tighter in your hair, and I pull you roughly from the chair and down onto your knees in front of me. You gasp, trembling again, still defiant, still wanting your own way.
"Such a fucking slut," I say, spitting out the words. "Do you want to be punished? Is that what you want?"
...yes..." you gasp, groaning as I tug your head back harder, looking right down at you.
"You want me to fuck you?" I ask, growling again.
"yes... ohh god yes... please..."
"Tell me again," I reply. "Tell me you want me to fuck you."
"I need it..." you gasp, groaning again as I pull your head back harder, "unnhh god please fuck me... I want you to fuck me... please..."
"I think you want it too much," I reply. "First you need to be punished. Unbuckle my belt."
"god..." you whisper, your nervous fingers moving up to my belt, unhooking it, pulling it apart, sliding it out of the loops on my pants, holding onto it.
"Give it to me," I demand. Nervously, you respond, handing me the belt. You can see the large bulge in my pants now, my cock straining to be free. Unable to resist, you slide a hand over my erection, rubbing it slowly through my pants. It feels delicious, my cock pulsing at your touch, but I resist. "Did I tell you that you could touch me?"
"...no..." you whimper, removing your hand quickly. You can feel your panties are already drenched, wanting to touch yourself there, fearful of the response.
You've been masturbating again without my permission - you think I don't know, but I can always tell. Your scent fills the air as I walk into the bedroom. Such a bad girl.
And you know what a slut you are - you know how much trouble you're in - you know that I've forbidden you to touch yourself when I'm not here, and you know the consequences of your actions. Perhaps you weren't expecting me to come home and discover you like this. Though it looks pretty deliberate to me. You're showing no shame whatsoever. Just look at you - sat there at your computer with your hand down your panties, your pussy clearly dripping wet - I can hear it as you stroke yourself, not stopping even though I've walked into the room. Just looking at me, continuing to masturbate right in front of me, challenging me - such a dirty little slut.
I think you know how bad you've been. I think you know I'm going to have to punish you.
You're looking back at me rebelliously. You know that you should submit, that you should be asking my forgiveness, begging me - but today submission doesn't seem to be something you want to give readily. As I step towards you, watching you, you smile at me wickedly, still stroking your clit in rhythmic circles, occasionally slipping your fingers into your cunt, gasping and trembling a little, then returning to the rhythm. You know I love watching you like this, you know how much I love to watch you masturbate, how much it arouses me - but you also know that this is a direct challenge to my authority. You want things your own way. Greedy little slut. That's not the way it's going to happen today.
I move closer to you, stepping right in front of you, watching you, smiling, but not speaking to you. You continue to stroke yourself, opening your thighs wider, tugging the crotch of your panties aside to display your sex to me, sliding your fingers across it, pushing them inside yourself again. I can see you glancing down to my crotch, seeing the bulge of my erection in my pants. You know you've aroused me, and you like that - perhaps you assume that by arousing me, you'll escape your punishment.
I don't think so.
I'm stood between your thighs now, looking down at you as you masturbate on your chair. You look directly into my eyes, still challenging me - your gaze is greedy and lustful. I slide my fingers gently across your cheek, smiling wickedly at you, brushing my fingers up through your hair - you tremble a little, looking me in the eye again, smiling at me. "Fuck me..." you say. It's not a request, it's a demand. But your demand has sealed your fate.
My fingers slip through your hair, winding a little around my hand, taking a firm grip - before you can protest, I pull your head back sharply, holding it there, baring your neck, looking down at you.
"Dirty little slut", I say.
You gasp, your fingers still stroking your clit, rubbing a little faster now. But my grip is tighter in your hair, and I pull you roughly from the chair and down onto your knees in front of me. You gasp, trembling again, still defiant, still wanting your own way.
"Such a fucking slut," I say, spitting out the words. "Do you want to be punished? Is that what you want?"
...yes..." you gasp, groaning as I tug your head back harder, looking right down at you.
"You want me to fuck you?" I ask, growling again.
"yes... ohh god yes... please..."
"Tell me again," I reply. "Tell me you want me to fuck you."
"I need it..." you gasp, groaning again as I pull your head back harder, "unnhh god please fuck me... I want you to fuck me... please..."
"I think you want it too much," I reply. "First you need to be punished. Unbuckle my belt."
"god..." you whisper, your nervous fingers moving up to my belt, unhooking it, pulling it apart, sliding it out of the loops on my pants, holding onto it.
"Give it to me," I demand. Nervously, you respond, handing me the belt. You can see the large bulge in my pants now, my cock straining to be free. Unable to resist, you slide a hand over my erection, rubbing it slowly through my pants. It feels delicious, my cock pulsing at your touch, but I resist. "Did I tell you that you could touch me?"
"...no..." you whimper, removing your hand quickly. You can feel your panties are already drenched, wanting to touch yourself there, fearful of the response.
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Deadliest Catch
I love Captain Keith. I know he is not popular on the show but I love an underdog who seems to beat all the other crabbers on the show. Don’t get me started…lol
Friday, January 22, 2010
I love To Watch
It all started innocently. It was a dark, moonless night, a pleasant breeze blowing. I was walking around the neighborhood around 10 PM, taking my dog Charlie for his evening walk. So I'm not paying much attention to the dog. As I walked, Charlie saw a cat, he suddenly yanked the leash from my hand and took off chasing the cat into the back yard of a house. So I followed him. The cat of course got away, climbing a tree, as all cats do, living to taunt the dog another day. And I found Charlie sitting at the base of the tree in the neighbor's back yard, glaring at the cat's green eyes ten feet above.
As I turned to leave, I saw a light in a window at the back of the house, and movement. I stopped in the shadows, not wanting to be noticed. As I focused, I could see two people silhouetted in the window. The window had horizontal blinds, but they were not fully closed, so with the complete darkness outside, I could see pretty much everything, "Are they naked?" . "Sure looks like it," I thought, grinning.
I stopped, transfixed, as the couple embraced on the bed. With the darkness outside, no moon, I felt pretty safe from being spotted, and anyway the couple were fully engrossed in each other. So I moved closer, excited. There was a girl, mid twenties I'd guess, laying on the bed. She was smiling at the guy who was turned away from me, I could see his naked ass. She had one hand on her breast, playing with her nipples, they were stiff and pointy. Her other hand strayed to her pussy, she began masturbating slowly, circling her clit and occasionally plunging her finger inside, giving him - and unwittingly, their enraptured audience - a fabulous view. I'm so wet, this is really exciting me. I hiked up my skirt, and put my hand inside my panties, slipping inside my moist pussy, masturbating. As I watch, the guy gets on the bed and goes down on the girl. It's like a silent movie, I can see but not hear anything, there is an air conditioner humming loudly which blocks any chance of me hearing them. But I can see her put her hands on his head, pulling him into her sex, writhing on the bed, locking his head between her legs, till finally she appeared to come, I could see her mouthing as if she was moaning, then finally relaxing, smiling as her orgasm fades. I am coming too, moaning as I stick my two fingers inside my own hot gushing wet pussy...
As I turned to leave, I saw a light in a window at the back of the house, and movement. I stopped in the shadows, not wanting to be noticed. As I focused, I could see two people silhouetted in the window. The window had horizontal blinds, but they were not fully closed, so with the complete darkness outside, I could see pretty much everything, "Are they naked?" . "Sure looks like it," I thought, grinning.
I stopped, transfixed, as the couple embraced on the bed. With the darkness outside, no moon, I felt pretty safe from being spotted, and anyway the couple were fully engrossed in each other. So I moved closer, excited. There was a girl, mid twenties I'd guess, laying on the bed. She was smiling at the guy who was turned away from me, I could see his naked ass. She had one hand on her breast, playing with her nipples, they were stiff and pointy. Her other hand strayed to her pussy, she began masturbating slowly, circling her clit and occasionally plunging her finger inside, giving him - and unwittingly, their enraptured audience - a fabulous view. I'm so wet, this is really exciting me. I hiked up my skirt, and put my hand inside my panties, slipping inside my moist pussy, masturbating. As I watch, the guy gets on the bed and goes down on the girl. It's like a silent movie, I can see but not hear anything, there is an air conditioner humming loudly which blocks any chance of me hearing them. But I can see her put her hands on his head, pulling him into her sex, writhing on the bed, locking his head between her legs, till finally she appeared to come, I could see her mouthing as if she was moaning, then finally relaxing, smiling as her orgasm fades. I am coming too, moaning as I stick my two fingers inside my own hot gushing wet pussy...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Paddle Vs. Cane
I am taking a poll… For those who have been reading my blog for a long time know that I have been canned and paddled. Master C knows how I feel about both soooo here is my question to you all. Paddle or Cane?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Collaring
What A Collar Means
Collaring is when a Dom claims a sub as their own. This can be literal--actually placing a collar around the neck of the submissive--or it can be figurative and be an understanding between the people involved. Often the literal option is chosen, because the collar is recognized within the community as a mark of ownership.
Collars are, again, a mark of ownership. Collars mean that a Dom has exclusive rights to the sub that is wearing their collar, and that he or she makes any decision that affects that sub. In some communities it is accepted that a person will check with the Dom before any interaction, even conversation, with the submissive. Most communities are not this formal, but that doesn't mean that the Dom does not have complete control over what is done to the sub that is wearing his or her collar. To touch, molest, use, or require something of a collared submissive by someone who is not their owner and is not acting under the owner's instruction is considered unforgivably rude. It is valid and acceptable for a sub to ignore an order from a Dom who is not their owner or is not sanctioned by their owner.
The collar means, besides ownership, that the Dom/me has agreed to the care and protection of the submissive. The education, behavior, nurturing, and punishment of the submissive all fall to the Dom who has placed the collar. If there is a problem with the sub, or if there is something desired of the sub, their Dom should be consulted first. Never assume you have any rights to a collared sub that is not your own.
Collaring is a serious step. By placing a collar, you are agreeing that this person is in your care, or you are agreeing that you will surrender your personal power to this person for as long as you wear their collar. It is a step that should be weighed carefully and not jumped into blindly. Make sure, before the collar is placed/accepted, that you and your Dom/me agree on what that collar means to you both.
Home Sweet Home
It is Tuesday January 19, 2010 and I am moved in to my new place. I can’t believe I am finally out of my housing situation. My body is aching and I feel like I want to sleep for the next month. I hadn’t been able to see Master C in quite some time so last night he did surprise me. He showed up at my door looking OH SO SEXY!! Up stairs we went, to my bedroom where he undressed me and himself and told me to get on my knees and suck him off. I love when his cock grows in my mouth. Then he told me to stand up and turn around and bend over my bed. And with some hair pulling and deep penetration he has me cumming in moments. It was raw, hot, heated sex that had my eyes rolling in my head.
I hope I am able to see Master C more now that I have moved to my own home. Stay tuned for more sexy details in the future.
I hope I am able to see Master C more now that I have moved to my own home. Stay tuned for more sexy details in the future.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Have A Good Weekend
This is my last post until Tuesday. I am moving to my other house and getting out of my situation with my exboyfriend. YEAH :-) I will not have DSL set up until the 28th so I will only be able to post from work. Pretty much like I do everyday so nothing will change.
Thanks to all of you for your support during this trying time...
Thanks to all of you for your support during this trying time...
Age Old Question
I was asked by one of my followers if I believe in feminism. And the answer is, yes I do. I was raised to be a strong and independent woman, to make it on my own if I had to. And I have…I have struggled as most of us have but I think I can take care of myself and my 2 kids. But I also think something was lost. If you look back on history the crime rate was low, kids stayed out of big trouble, parents sent their kids to school knowing they will be safe and people were just happy in general. And I think this is because there was a mother at home taking care of the kids. Making sure their husbands were taken care of. There was no competition between the sexes as to who was head of household.
I think this is what I have with Master C… We do not live together but he is the man in charge if we are together or not. I feel comfort in that. What do you think?
I think this is what I have with Master C… We do not live together but he is the man in charge if we are together or not. I feel comfort in that. What do you think?
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Frustrated
Master C is upset with me…He wont talk to me until I correct the situation. He knows that not talking to me hurts me the most. More than any other punishment he could hand down. I am not sure what I should do. I feel I am right about this issue and he thinks I’m wrong.
I am so frustrated I could scream. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???
I am so frustrated I could scream. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Teachings From Master C
I was set out to please Master C last night. I am in training so I can't wait to show him I am worth the trouble. I got dressed up in my lace teddy and high heels and headed over to his place with nothing but a coat to keep me warm and covered.
He let me in and we headed to his bedroom. I unbuttoned his shirt and took it and his pants off. He was naked and I was standing behind him. I started off rubbing his shoulders and his back. My hands getting lower as I gave him sweet kisses down his spine. My hands wrapping themselves around his hips to his large thick cock. Stroking him slowly but firmly. I get to my knees still kissing the low of his back and then to the crack of his ass. I pushed Master C over so he was bending over the bed with legs spread. I make my way to his balls with my mouth and lightly suck on them. My tongue moves up and down from his ass to his balls. I then had Master C stand up so I could get in front of him so he could put his cock in my mouth. My hands were wondering all over his cock, balls, ass…He was so turned on and so was I. He started to fuck my mouth and the more I played with that middle area between his balls and asshole the more turned on Master C got until he exploded in my awaiting mouth. And I sucked every last drop out of him…
Sweet Dreams…and off I went.
Monday, January 11, 2010
What I Didn't Know About The Cold
I have lived in South Florida, and I say South Florida because the distance between us and North Florida is about 600 miles, most of my life so I am not used to the cold. The average temp here this time a year is in the 70s. So, for the past 2 weeks each night has been getting into the 30s and highs is 60. VERY COLD… and last night it dropped to 27.
Here is my list of what I didn’t know about the cold
1. People are mean when they are cold.
2. No matter how long you let your car warm up it is still cold when you get in.
3. The white stuff on my car was not snow…I was told it was frost. Huh?
4. After getting your little child all zipped up with mittens on and ready to go…he has to go to the potty.
5. You can never seem to find your cell phone under all the layers of clothing you have put on.
6. No one thought to put the heater on all weekend in the office so it’s now lunch time and I am still cold.
7. You can’t type on the computer with gloves on.
8. I used to think I wanted to live in one of the northern city like Boston so I would be able to see a change of seasons and see snow…but now have changed my mind.
So, I know you think I am complaining about living in 30 degree weather while you are probably in subzero. But this is a big deal for us and none of our orange trees are going to survive and those poor birds who fly here from the north are probably going to perish. So I am looking for a little sympathy. STAY WARM MY FOLLOWERS.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Dear John Letter
As a lot of you know I am currently living with my Exboyfriend until I can move out next week. Last night we got into a big argument and got me very upset and very mad at him. So when I went to bed I thought of this letter. This is a letter that I would hope Master C would have written to him. This is not Master C's style and I don't want to put words in his mouth. But it was sort of a fantasy in my head.
Dear John:
I just wanted to write to you and thank you for not having sex with Carrie for such a long time. Because you left her in an exceedingly horny state. John, I can't believe you could be living under the same roof as this sexpot and not fuck her at least twice a day. I have never had a woman with such a sexual appetite. And her willingness to do anything at all in bed is awesome. The way she sucks my cock is something else. And how appreciative she is when I lick her pussy. She even likes me to lick her asshole, to finger it, my goodness she gets excited. She is unbelievably bold. Had she ever done anything like that to you, John? Have you read the blog yet? She has fucked me in the park, movie theater, hotels, and in her mother's house. She is shameless! Do you know I fucked her ass? It was awesome. Her ass is so tight, gripping my cock like a vice. She gets so wet, she left a pool of her juices in the bed. She screams so loud when she cums.
So John, thank you. I appreciate what you have done for me.
Master C
Dear John:
I just wanted to write to you and thank you for not having sex with Carrie for such a long time. Because you left her in an exceedingly horny state. John, I can't believe you could be living under the same roof as this sexpot and not fuck her at least twice a day. I have never had a woman with such a sexual appetite. And her willingness to do anything at all in bed is awesome. The way she sucks my cock is something else. And how appreciative she is when I lick her pussy. She even likes me to lick her asshole, to finger it, my goodness she gets excited. She is unbelievably bold. Had she ever done anything like that to you, John? Have you read the blog yet? She has fucked me in the park, movie theater, hotels, and in her mother's house. She is shameless! Do you know I fucked her ass? It was awesome. Her ass is so tight, gripping my cock like a vice. She gets so wet, she left a pool of her juices in the bed. She screams so loud when she cums.
So John, thank you. I appreciate what you have done for me.
Master C
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
New Found Sex
I used to think I had some really great sex in my life time. I was kinky, sexy and always had 1 or 2 orgasms. That is until I met Master C. He has got to be the best lover I have ever had. He knows how to touch my buttons and push my limits. He seems to know my dark fantasies that no one has yet discovered. The kink factor is far and above anything I have experienced. He always leaves me wanting more.
Just the thought of him touching me sends chills up my spine. His strength, his authoritative nature, the way he looks at me, and how he handles my body… makes him so sexy.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Have A Great New Year
I hope all of you had a great New Years. I didn’t do much. Here is the run down on everyone else’s night. Master C was in Vegas and went to some crazy party. As it should be in Vegas My parents were on a cruise for a week. My daughter had a party that she went to. Teenager fun… My son fell asleep at 7:00 (he is 4 so not a big partier) So that left me trying to calm 2, 100 pound dogs from the fireworks that the kids down the block were shooting off.
But I had a nice weekend and Master C returned home yesterday. I hope to be able to see him soon. Here is my question to you all… Master C needs me to find a place where we can “be together” besides our houses. Any ideas!!! I am all out and keep in mind it has been really cold outside.
You give me the idea and I will be sure to post all the juicy details. ;-)
But I had a nice weekend and Master C returned home yesterday. I hope to be able to see him soon. Here is my question to you all… Master C needs me to find a place where we can “be together” besides our houses. Any ideas!!! I am all out and keep in mind it has been really cold outside.
You give me the idea and I will be sure to post all the juicy details. ;-)
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