Journal of my exploration into the domination submission world of D/s and how I struggle between my submissive heart and my logical feminist mind that tells me submission is wrong while my body and heart tell me it is sooooh right!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Lets hope this year is better then years past. Love you all
I read this article this morning. I was wondering if this guy is telling the truth. Have any of you tried to have sex where you use a deadly wepon for excitment. Arnt you worried about something going wrong, as stated in this news story? I would love to know your comments...
Wife Accidentally Killed During Sex Game, Husband Tells PoliceDec 29, 2010 – 7:35 AM
An Oklahoma City resident arrested on suspicion of murder told police he was playing a fantasy sex game with his wife when he accidentally shot her to death.
Arthur Sedille said he often got his kicks in the bedroom by holding a handgun against his 50-year-old wife's head. But the 23-year-old telecom worker said he didn't realize the gun was loaded when he grabbed the weapon from a bedside shelf and racked the slide back during sex on the night of Dec. 21, reports The Oklahoman.
The firearms aficionado -- whose interests include the AK-47 assault rifle, M-1 Carbine rifle, Jagermeister and Jesus Christ, according to his Facebook page -- claims that the handgun accidentally discharged, killing his wife, Rebecca. Sedille immediately phoned 911, CNN reports, but it was too late.
Sponsored LinksShe was pronounced dead on arrival at a hospital. A state medical examiner's office spokeswoman told The Oklahoman that Rebecca Sedille died from a single gunshot wound to the head.
Arthur Sedille is being held at Oklahoma County Jail on suspicion of first-degree murder out of an abundance of caution.
Neighbors told KOCO-TV that the couple kept to themselves and had moved to the area about six months ago.
"You never know who lives beside you," said resident Josh Wright. "You never know what's gone on in the house beside you."
I can't seem to control myself around you. I need you, here, now. I always need you but this is more urgent. I really need you NOW. Don't hesistate. Fuck me. Use me. Control me... That's it... Kiss me, hard. I want to feel your tongue in my mouth. Make me gasp for breath. Press your body into mine. I can feel your cock getting hard. I love that feeling... Grind your cock into m. Rip my shirt off. I don't care, I just need to feel you on my skin. Your rough hands over my skin. GASP! Pinch my nipples. You know how much I love that, roughly, make me cry out. Make my pussy ache for you. Make me grind my hips into you, your hard cock. Lick my breasts, suck them. Tangling my fingers in your hair... MOANING! I need you so much... Take your shirt off. I want to feel your chest on mine. Feel my nipples brush against yours... I'm so wet... I need you to feel how wet I am. Push my skirt up. Rip off my panties. Feel me, taste me. I know you want to lick me. To taste my juices. Push me down on the floor. Spread my thighs. Put your tongue in my dripping pussy... GASP! Make me moan your name. That's right, fuck me with your tongue. Make me writhe on the floor. Flick your tongue over my hard little clit. Make my hips rock... I need to taste you. Take your pants off, PLEASE!. Kneel over me. Let me taste your hard cock. Let me suck you. Run my tongue over you, swirling, licking, sucking. My lips on your cock. Making you groan. Reach back and finger my clit while I suck you... That's it... My pussy is aching for you. You need to fuck me. You need to fuck me, NOW! PLEASE!! Do it!!! Fuck me hard. Push yourself in deep. Fuck me... I need you.
Good Morning... I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I know a lot of you are stranded in the snow so I hope you are able to stay warm. My holiday was nice and the kids had a great time.
Last night I rented a movie called The Killer Inside Me. I had no idea what kind of movie this would be. I rented at the my local grocery store. It had an interesting title so I rented it for a dollar. To my surprise (although I couldn't figure out what the story line was really about) there was lots of adult spanking going on. In the first 5 minutes the lead character wacked his woman on the ass with the belt until she submitted to him. She was fighting him and crying until she finally calmed and submitted to his advances... Through out the movie he was with a couple of woman who both liked to be strangled and spanked. He loved hurting them for his pleasure and the women seemed to love it too. Of course he ended up killing them...but the spanking had turned me on and I had no choice but to take care of myself.
So that was my weekend...I couldn't wait to tell you about this movie. As far as the story goes the movie sucked but to see that kind of BDSM in a mainstream movie I thought was unique and give it 2 thumbs up.
I want to wish all of you a Very Merry Christmas, even if you don't celebrate this holiday but I am tired of saying Happy Holidays. (so politically correct) I would like to thank all that have helped me out this past month. You know who you are and I am so grateful for all the help.
I would also like to thank all that read my blog and who follow so closely. Your comments always bring a smile or make me laugh. All of you are totally GREAT. (That sounded so valley girl of me. lol)
I suppose I have a typical holiday planned this year. I will spend Christmas Eve at my mother's house and open the family gifts with the kids then we will go to midnight mass. I do love going at that time...its so beautiful and the music is inspiring. Then on Christmas Day will start early with opening Santa's gifts then I will cook my covered dish and head to Grandma's house for dinner. I won't have the kids on Christmas night they will be at their Dad's place so I will head home for a quite evening with the dogs and thinking about how long I should wait to get rid of the tree that I have had enough with already...lol
Another year has gone by, and it seems like it goes faster each year. If I had 1 wish this year it would be to have a white Christmas. I know for a lot of you it might sound crazy or you always get snow where you are but in South Florida it will never happen. Of course, the local grocery store sometimes brings in fake snow (shredded ice) for the kids to play in. Oh so much fun!!!
You want to bend me over the desk, hold me down, and tug my panties all the way down, down to my ankles. If I start to struggle, You'll spank me, punish me, teach me a lesson, remind me what a dirty girl I am.
If I'm a good girl, if I don't struggle, You will fuck me from behind, long, hard and deep, sliding your erect cock deep inside me, deep into my wet pussy, teasing me with my cock, thrusting deliciously inside me, taking me over the edge, making me cum over and over again, until you can't take any more, and you cum frantically, filling me with all your gift, spurting deep inside me...
If I'm a bad girl, I'll be punished. You'll force me down onto my hands and knees in front of you, make me take your cock into my mouth, and you'll watch me as I suck you, holding me by my hair, treating me roughly, using me for your own pleasure, until you feel yourself about to cum, and then you'll cum in my mouth, urgently, selfishly, not caring about my own pleasure, and once you have cum, you'll leave me there on the floor, your cum dripping from my mouth, my body trembling, leaving me wanting more.
Well, it is 1 week till Christmas. I am sure you all are just as busy as I am especially if you have kids. This weekend my daughter has 2 parties to attend, dance class, and I have to force her to clean her room. My son wants to see Narnia, go to the Christmas carnival, and see Santa. OK...we will be only doing 1 of the things on his list. So, as you can see I will be busy driving kids around.
I wanted to spread you all a little Christmas cheer. you all remember Katie who won an appearance on MTV. Well, I would like to invite you to see this video of a girl named Jenny LaRoche. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_uGzx46S18&feature=player_embedded She was also a student at the dance studio may daughter attends. There have been many kids that have gone on to dance careers from Stella's Dancers Studio and only fuels the desire to make it as a dancer for my daughter.
That is ok...I love watching my daughter on stage. She seems to just shine. Love you Ashley. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. KISSES to you all.
P.S. Stay warm... It will be in the 80's here this weekend and I will be thinking of all of you who are freezing. (sorry I had to brag
OK...its bitching time. As most of you know I have been looking for a new job. Mostly because I can't stand my boss. Well today was a topper. Every Christmas I usually get a bonus. 7 years ago I started out getting about $3500...every year it seems to get smaller and smaller. This year (today) he took the accountant and myself out to lunch. I was excited because this is when he gives out our bonuses. He is going on a 2 1/2 week vacation so we had out lunch early this year.
So we got a speech about how poorly he is doing and he cant give us our usual Christmas bonus. (He was telling us this in his new car on his way to the restaurant) The entire 2 hours we spent eating he was telling us how much he spends on his girlfriend to keep her happy and how much he spends on his 5 homes, and his new cars...and his $250,000 he spends on country club dues every year.
So the company paid for lunch and at least I didn't have to eat the ham sandwich I brought to work. the highlight of our lunch was the woman at the next table you flashed the girl sitting at her table and we all got a peek. HOHOHO!!! And now I'm back here sitting at my desk blogging to you wonderful people who have taken the time to hear me bitch.
Jess, a blogger, suggested I write a threesome story on f/f/f.... I wanst able to that but hope she find this story just as much fun. ENJOY
I look down at her as she's sliding her hand up my leg. I was very lucky to have found someone as beautiful as her. She was just standing there admiring a pair of strappy sandals when I first noticed her. I noticed her legs first, long and lean standing atop a gorgeous pair of black stilettos. I followed them up to her short tailored skirt that showed off her luscious ass. That's really all the further I needed to go but the rest of her delighted my eyes all the same. She noticed me staring at her openly. She didn't look away. It didn't take long to get her back to my bedroom.
She's knelt before me now, her hands sliding over my calves as I run my fingers through her hair. She's naked as I had stripped off her clothes a few minutes ago. She melted at my touch, her mouth was so warm and wet when I kissed her for the first time. My tongue gently probed her mouth as I slowly undid the buttons to her blouse exposing her lacy bra. Her blouse slipped easily from her shoulders. Her breasts were small but perky and her nipples were rock hard. I gently teased them through her bra before removing it altogether. Her hands moved to her skirt zipper, pulling it down and letting the skirt fall to the floor. Her small lacy thong followed quickly. I let my hands run over her soft skin. Such a tantalizing feel. My mouth traced her jaw and lingered for a moment before moving down her neck. Her soft sighs permeated my thoughts and I could think of nothing but her. My hands traced over her breasts and circled to her nipples. So pert, so delicious. She slid slowly from my hands as her body lowered to the floor.
Her fingers traced over my feet and up my bare legs. Her hands taking me in. She caressed them as if they were the essence of my sensuality. This is where we are now. Her lips are softly licking their way up my legs to the edge of my skirt. She looks up at me briefly as her hands part my thighs. Such beautiful eyes looking up at me. I open my thighs for her as her fingertips make their way to my already wet cunt. She gasps softly as she realizes my panties have already been removed. She slowly traces her fingers around my wet lips before pushing them open. She lazily slides one finger inside, sampling me. Her touch was delightfully erotic. With my help, she pushes up my skirt, exposing me to her. I let my head roll back as I feel her warm breath on me, my hands tangled in her hair. I gasp as I feel her tongue gently lick my slit. I spread my thighs a bit wider as she pushes another finger inside, expertly stroking me. Her tongue moves up to my clit and slowly circles it. I sigh and wrap my fingers tighter in her hair. The feel of her tongue mingled with her hot breath is exquisite. I moan as her fingers push deeper and find my spot. I need her. I pull her from me and lift her up until she's standing in front of me. My hands move to lift my shirt off as her hands reach behind me and unhook my bra. My hands then remove my skirt and let it fall to the floor. I then pull her close so her body is pressed tight against mine, I can feel her hot skin on mine. I kiss her lips again and let our tongues glide over each other. I push her back to the bed and lay her across it. Climbing up onto the bed, she slides her hands over my hips, pulling me down onto her. I move my cunt against hers, our clits rubbing together. Our hands explore each other further, mine massaging her breasts, hers gliding over my ass. She wraps one leg around me, pulling me closer, grinding harder. We're both so close. My fingers pinch her nipple and she arches her back to me. I need to take her in my mouth. I break our kiss and lower my head to her beautiful breasts. My tongue deftly flicks over her nipple. She moans and pulls me tighter. I lean off to the side and reach my hand down between her thighs. She's so ready for me, I can feel her wetness flood my hand as I push my fingers inside her. I reach back with my thumb and rub her clit as my tongue teases her nipples. Her hand reaches across mine and finds my clit. She rubs me rhythmically to my own hand, keeping pace with me. She's going to make me cum, her body, her sounds, her touch, oh god. Her hips thrust up to meet my hand, I can feel her pussy pulsing around me. I slide my fingers in and out, fucking her with them. She moans loudly as her one hand claws at my back. I move with her, pressing my own pussy harder against her other hand. My thighs tighten around hers, my muscles tightening. I'm going to cum, she's going to make me cum. My teeth clamp down on her nipple, biting hard. She screams in pain and pleasure and suddenly starts to convulse under me. I push my fingers in hard as she cums on them, clenching around them. Seeing and hearing her cum pushes me over the edge. I cry out as I feel it hit me. God. The pleasure flashes as I convulse on her. I kiss her lips hard as I let it flood over me. Our bodies rock together as we ride out our orgasms. We stay like that, entwined as we slowly come down. Gasping for breath we smile and lazily untangle ourselves. I'm so glad I found her today.
I moaned again as he began to move inside me, my pussy reacting immediately, pulsing around him. Closing my eyes briefly before looking up to her again, I relished the feelings. Coming closer, she leaned over and kissed me, her lips parting and her tongue sliding over mine. I heard him groan as he watched us, pausing for a moment, his hard cock throbbing inside me as he took in the view. She was naked, her beautiful body glistening in the candlelight. Her fingers slid over her clit, circling as her other hand wove through my hair. Our mouths connected, separating briefly so he could see our tongues dancing in each other's mouths.
Breaking our kiss, she turned to look at him, her lids heavy with desire. Leaning closer, she kissed him over me. My thighs tightened around him as his hips involuntarily began moving against me. Their bodies moved together, rocking gently as he began to fuck me again, one of his hands on my breast, one against the back of her neck. We stayed like that, three bodies together, touching, moaning. Her hand moved quicker around her clit as I slid my hands up inside her thighs. Her juices ran down her leg covering my fingers in its slickness. Moving up higher, I found her warm wetness, so inviting. Gently, I slid my fingers around her, giving her the time to spread her thighs for me. Greedily, she spread herself wide as my fingers slid over and around her dripping cunt. With one soft movement, I slid two fingers inside her, feeling her body welcome me. Her gasp was reward enough and I started to slide them in and out of her cunt. Slowly at first, but increasing speed as her hips pushed down against me, fucking my hand as she kissed him.
Suddenly, I was lifted up off the sofa and I tightened my legs around his back. Carrying me, he pushed the coffee table out of the way and laid us down onto the carpet. As he placed us on the floor, his hard length pushed deeper inside me, deeper than he had been while we were on the sofa. I moaned again, my breath becoming more rapid.
A tingle of arousal ran through me as I envisioned what we looked like. Him, on his knees, his cock buried deep inside me. My thighs parted wide, my wet pussy engulfing him each time he thrust forward. She is standing over us, clearly wanting more from the situation. So I pushed away and moved over so she could have her fill of him. Then I was over top of her, my thighs on either side of her head, her hands stroking me, her tongue licking me, her face smeared with my juices. The three of us are connected. Each push and pull, each movement affecting all of us.
Her tongue pushed deeper inside me and my legs start to trembled. My hand pressed against her stomach, steadying me as I drew closer to orgasm. I could hear him begging for me to cum for him, to come for all of us. Over and over, cum for us, he wanted to see me cum. His hips thrust to his words, wanting me to feel what he wanted to see. My body was lost to the sensations. I gasped time and time again, each movement, each lick, each stroke pushing me there. He spoke to me again, soft, desirous talk, telling me to cum, telling me how much he wanted me, telling me he wanted to see my juices pouring over her face. I moaned, my muscles stiffening, my body arched as I cried out...
One of my friends / followers wrote this story for me and I just had to post it. He says this is part 1 of 2. Its very playful and sexy...
You try on the "Ms Santa" dress he sent from Fredericks . . slide on the candy apple red heels . . ohh, and the tiny white lace thong he included. You look in the mirror and admire the way you look, your legs smoooth, tan and gleaming from the lotion you know he luvs.
You go into the garage and there sits the sports sedan he had Enterprise deliver last night just for this occassion . . you slide into the leather seat and realize the 'dress' is barely long enough to cover your thong . . you sit for a moment, anticipating the excitement on his face when he approaches . . and the thought of his warm hand on your bare thigh. You're pussy begins to get very wet and you haven't even left the garage! LOL Its what you luv about him . . spontaneous, playful . . unafraid to tell his pet what he wants and how!
As you wait by the curb at the airport arrivals, you are approached by a policewoman . . she is waving at you to move, but you freeze. As she approaches the car she sees your red outfit and smiles (its the Holiday spirit!) and then as she peers inside and takes in the outfit, she decides to get a closer look . . just as I exit the Terminal. I see the car, and begin smiling at what might be happening in the exchange with the cop . . . you are startled at my voice when I call out "Is there a problem officer?" . . but relieved just the same. The cute female officer says "ohhh noo, no problem . . I was just admiring her outfit!". You are in near panic in the car . . knowing your pussy is nearly exposed to this lady cop. You hear me say . . "well that's good, I sent her the outfit and told her what to wear so she had no choice. In fact if you'd like to see more of her . . take my card and give us a call later. I'll make sure she's dressed appropriately." She smiles, takes my card and thanks me . . and I know you will be doing me a favor later today! lol I get in the car and place my hand on your thigh, grasping your warm leg . . leaning over to kiss you. You know not to ask about my 'invitation' to the officer . . but I swear you are close to cumming because of what just happened. I tell you to drive ahead . . and that I need to stop at the nearby Mall to pick up something for this evening. You lick your lips, look at me with a lustful desire . . yes my pet, I KNOW you need to cum . . patience!
You pull into the Mall area and I tell you to park in the garage . . go to the upper floors I tell you as its easier to park there. You pull into a spot near the cross-over bridge to the mall . . and ask what I am picking up. My finger to your lips . . shhhh, then I move my hand between your thighs as I hold you back in the seat with my other hand . . "I luv the way you look in this outfit my pet . . your soft warm thighs begging to be licked, kissed". I move my hand up to your pussy and you spread your thighs even more . . my pet luvs my touch, and as I tease your thighs just beyond the cloth of your thong, I can feel you already on your way to a powerful orgasm . . I 'spank' your clit firmly and it sends you into an explosive orgasm . . and I proceed to rub you even more through your panties. Your scent fills the car as you pussy has thoroughly soaked your thong . . and I tell you its a bad thing to wet your panties and 'spank' your clitty again . . you JUMP from the pain as your clit is still very sensitive. I begin pulling off the thong . . its now on the floor still wrapped around one ankle as my fingers begin their assault on your drenched cunt. Three fingers easily slide inside as you arch your back . . come on baby, cumm for daddy . . you again scream out as I am stroking your clit . . your juices coating my fingers and the leather seat. "That's it my pet . . give yourself to me, your total attention . . do what I ask, when I ask . . and WANT more! Yes? I want to see the look in your eyes, that you NEED me . . that you can't wait for my direction, my punishment when deserve and also my cock." I feed you the fingers covered in your juices and you hungrily lick them clean. You suddenly see me looking around and know I am not yet finished . . . ohhh damn! LOL
I have a friend who I have known for about 10 years. He is great... Him and I can tell each other anything. From everyday things to our deepest fantasies. Recently, he has been exploring other sexual aspects about himself. In fact, I think he might be a sex addict. ( a real one)
Anyway, he likes pushing the boundaries and is always coming up with new ideas on how to push them even more. So last night he calls me to tell me about this sexy 24 year old male that just gave him the best blow job and they both want to know if I would be willing to take pictures of them having sex. I told him that I love to watch and I would have no problem in doing what they are asking of me.
It sort of puts me in a strange situation....I have seen live women do this but not men. They want graphic type pictures. Oh my...What kind of position will I be in? LOL
I will let you know what happens. I am sure there will be quite a story to tell. Just thought I would share this odd conversation with you all.
Desirous talk comes from your lips. Whispers of promises. Naughty thoughts and deeds all streaming off your tongue. Your mouth produces a staccato of dirty words mixed with insinuating thoughts. I listen. My tongue crosses over my lips, wetting them, as my body warms to your words. My thighs squeeze together slightly masking the growing wetness pooling between them. I wait.
I wait for your words to become physical. I wait for your words to cross over and touch me with their consonants and vowels. I need to feel them coursing over my body just as hands on flesh. I want the harsh tones to bite and the sensual tones to caress. I need to feel your filthy dreams drip off my tongue and dribble down my chin to drip onto my breasts. I want to be able to rub them into my skin so I can totally absorb you. I need to feel them all. But I wait.
My own hands crave you. I tell you so. I tell you my erotic thoughts and hope that you can feel them. My breasts against your flesh. My hard nipples brushing past you ever so softly. My mouth on you. My tongue swirling.
The sting of your hand as you spank me hard. "Can you feel it? Do my words manifest their strength into what I need you to feel? Does the force of my desires pin you to the bed unable to move against them?"
You tell me more and hear my heavy breaths. My arousal so clear and I know you can feel me. You speak again. Another slew of vulgar utterances slap me hard and my breath leaves me from the impact. Can you feel me now? I can feel you.
Good morning...how was your weekend? Mine was ok. Had to get the car fixed again and spent another $500. I didn't go out and do much this weekend but I did get a Christmas tree with the kids and it was nice to see them so excited about decorating it. Now I just need to keep the dogs away from it. LOL
For the past few days the weather here has been so nice. The temperatures have been in the 60's and low 70's but tonight it will get down to the high 30's with the wind chill. For those of you who don't know I live in Fort Lauderdale, FL... So these kind of temperatures are quite low for us. Last year we had several days where the temps got into the 30's and there was a big concern that the iguanas were passing out or dying do to the cold. As soon as their blood gets to a certain level they fall asleep and would fall out of trees or you would trip over them in the yard. Kinda funny when you think about it.
So if you plan on coming to South Florida watch out for falling iguanas. LOL
Your tongue is on my slit, it is wet, I am excited. Your tongue invades me, up and down, touching my clit briefly, I shiver.... I love it when you make contact with my love button. Your tongue laps at my pussy, I am moaning, You reach for my breasts, massaging them, play with my nipples, twisting them, feeling them harden... You want me to cum, you love when I cum with just your tongue, I am pushing my pussy into your face, my hands on your head, pushing you, You stab my slit with your tongue, circle my clit... You feel my legs start to entrap your head, You know that I am almost there, I am squeezing you, breathing hard, moaning, I keep your tongue on my clit, I start to shiver, squeezing you more, Your finger finds its way to my anus, circling it, my wetness has made my crack slippery, You slide a finger in my ass as I cum, you push hard, your finger all the way inside, my orgasm explodes, I am screaming your name, don't stop, don't stop... and you keep going, going, it seems like forever before I calm down.
You are straddling me now, you thrust your cock inside me, riding me hard. You have to cum. You push my legs over my head so you can pound me. Your cock thrusting deeper inside me. My pussy is spasming, squeezing you, I am so tight, you can't hold back, you feel the cum rushing through your cock, warm squirts of your hot cum hitting my cervix, you keep pounding till all is exhausted. you lay there inside me, kissing me deeply, your cock softening. You roll off me, we head for the shower, soap each other up, kissing.
I am often asked what kind of porn do I watch... the answer is I don't really watch porn. I need a story not just a visual. I do not mind watching it with someone or if others like watching it...but I prefer some sort of story.
So I was told the reason why this is for most woman.... Back when men just had their way with woman they would do her doggie style and would be able to see all that was happening. The woman who was unable to see anything had to make up images in their heads.
I thought this was sort of funny but it does make since...what do you think? I feel when doing it doggie style for the man or the woman is about just sex....there is little to think about. It feels good without being invested in what you are doing. Do you feel the same?
Not to much to report on the D/s side of things lately. As I mentioned my car had to be towed... Some sort of computerized (fancy word for more money) alternator. So after almost passing out at the shop over being told my bill was $650, I got in my car and cried over how am I going to pay for Christmas for my 2 kids. I know money isn't everything but when you don't have it...it means the world. I should be thankful that I have the health of my two kids...No wait! I just got back from the eye doctor with my son. He needs surgery on both his eyes before one of his eyes looses sight.
I know things could be a lot worse and I am sure you all are getting tired of me complaining. I am getting tired of it myself. I am hoping to get a new car by Friday but if I don't I will be replacing the breaks and getting that perfect Christmas tree by the end of the weekend. This way I can leave my wishes under the tree every night and hope they come true.