Thursday, February 25, 2010

Loss Of A Parent

For anyone who has lost a parent, this article I found written to the children of the late Captain Phil Harris was remarkable. I hope it would help anyone going through a tough loss and to Master C who recently lost his mother.

For Josh and Jake Harris, this February will likely be the worst month they'll ever have to endure in their lives. Their father -- 'Deadliest Catch' skipper Phil Harris, who was not only their dad, but their boss -- died following a stroke on February 9. The pain and emotional void left by the unexpected and all-too-early passing of a father is indescribable, something incomprehensible for most. Unfortunately, I know firsthand, because as they trudge through the awfulness that is their February, my November was equally devastating when my father passed away.

So, Jake and Josh, while we've never met and likely never will, I thought I'd offer what little advice there may be for dealing with something as miserable as what we're going through.

There are quite a few things about your current situation -- and your father Phil -- that remind me of myself and my dad. While nobody can be exactly in your shoes, there's certainly a handful of similarities that bridge us closer than most others. Your dad Phil, who was just 53 when he died, reminds me a bit of my father, Jeff, who passed away at 63 -- 10 years apart, but both certainly going well before "their time" ... whatever that means. You're 24 and 26, respectively, and I'm 30, so we're almost in the same boat.

So, as brothers in loss, here we are.

Our dads were hard-working everymen who knew nothing else but working and providing. They both also would look completely out of character in anything aside from a pair of crusty jeans and work boots. Hair gel and other beauty products never appeared in their toiletry arsenal, unless they were secretly planted there by a wife pleading for them to clean up for a wedding. Your dad was a salty fisherman, and mine was a bloody butcher. When it all boils down, both got paid by providing forms of protein for others to consume and enjoy. Their quiet demeanors made the times when they were truly angry all the more riveting. When my dad yelled, he meant business, and judging from the spats we saw on 'Deadliest Catch,' Phil's red-eyed rants were equally intense.

Firstly, I'll say this: When a parent passes away, there will be a handful of well-meaning people who say that they understand what you're going through, or that they get the pain you're barely able to contain. Unless they've experienced it first-hand, they don't. It's like visiting a friend in a hospital who just snapped his femur and saying you can relate because you once sprained your ankle.

Both of you were lucky enough to have spent a good chunk of time working alongside your father. For weeks at a time, you worked, lived and experienced everything with your father aboard the Cornelia Marie -- and gave the world the gift of watching your family work, fight and laugh on television. His pride in the both of you was blatant, and your adoration for him, even in times of disagreement, was equally prevalent. Few things can bond sons and fathers together like when the kids try their hand at dad's craft. You two fished with your dad. I worked occasionally with mine in his butcher shop when I was younger. I never made it my full-time job -- mostly because he refused to let me, thanks to the hellish hours, low pay and slumping economics of it all -- but I've rubbed blue-collar elbows with my dad just like you: Learning, watching, observing -- bonding. To anyone reading this article who still is lucky enough to have their father with them, I implore you to go out of your way to work with him, whether it's for a day, a week or longer. It's a life-altering experience that will be a part of you for eternity. (For more on my times working with my dad, read my funeral day memoriam here.)

It's now been a little more than three months since my father's passing, and while there's copious amounts of memories I have of him, the most vivid ones seared into my psyche are instances where work was involved. It's that passing-of-the-torch nostalgia that makes those memories essential to me, and I'm sure once you get past the initial shock and disbelief of his passing, you'll come to find the same in your own lives.

The first month of mourning is clearly the worst. Once you get over the sheer insanity of it all and get slowly back to everyday life, you'll have those moments where normally your father would in some way be involved, but he can't be anymore. For me, I'd think about cooking something and want to call him to see what kind of meat he could get me ... and seconds later, I'd remember that that nobody was going to pick up if I called. Or if I'd written an article I think he'd get a kick out of, I'd drop him a quick e-mail with a link to it. Now I've gotten used to closing that e-mail box before hitting send.

You'll likely encounter similar instances. Should you go back to your fishing careers, the empty captain's chair your father once colorfully manned will become not just a jarring memory of him, but a shrine in a sense. Everything you do, see and hear will remind you of him, and some moments will transcend all reality and logic, making you wonder if he's sending you a message from some other place.

So, Jake and Josh, as you traverse your way through this hell ride called life, trust me: You'll eventually find your moments where you can take a step back, look upward and laugh, no matter how much hurt is in your heart. Life will never be the same, but you'll learn to live with the pain. It will always be a part of you, like a clicking elbow following a bad fall or how people who have hurt their knees can tell when a storm is coming. It will never be easy or "normal" again, but it's part of you, now -- and part of me as well.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Little Research

In human sexual behavior, a SUBMISSIVE is one who enjoys having any of a variety of BDSM practices performed upon them by a DOMINANT; or one who holds a submissive position within a relationship based upon Dominance and submission (Ds). This enjoyment can spring from a simple desire for submission or an enjoyment of the interplay of wills involved in such a scenario.

In many BDSM communities, there is a distinction between a submissive and a slave. In this context, a slave's goal is surrender and obedience. In contrast, a submissive tends to expect some gratification in return for his or her submission.

In a wider view of human behavior, a SUBMISSIVE is one who needs to give most or all authority over their lives to a dominant, who will protect, guide, and nourish them. This D/s relationship need not include BDSM practices as it is based on the whole relationship, not just the sexual aspects.

What do you think?

Monday, February 22, 2010

I Love My Shoes

I LOVE SHOES!! To bad my job doesn’t allow me to buy them as often as I like. But I love to share my passion for them. I love medium to high sized heels, bright colors, base colors, I like different looking shoes. Love my Steve Madden Shoes. HINT! HINT!

I really like wearing high heel shoes when having sex. Why? Because I love how they make me feel. I feel sexy in them, tall, and naughty. And when women feel like this it can only benefit their men. If you want to get to my heart, a new pair of shoes (size will do.

Friday, February 19, 2010

My Answer To My Last Post

I know most of you are wondering witch fantasies do I think of. So here is my honest answer...
Numbers 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 10. I have done all of these except #2. I would love to know the top 10 sexual fantasies of men. Would you share with me?

Top 10 Women's Fantasies

 Below are the top 10 fantasies that woman have. The survey was given by The Psychology of Sex. I don’t agree with some of them as they are not my fantasies. But I thought I would share them with you…

10. Strangers in the night
Many women relish the idea of meeting up with a mystery man and going to some no-name motel with him for a wild night of uninhibited sex. Sometimes women feel like the only people they can truly let loose with are strangers simply because they won't be judged. And who cares anyway? They'll probably never see the beautiful stranger again.

9. The more the merrier
Group sex was a popular one among the ladies. "The freedom of being nude in front of a bunch of people who are equally exposed, allowing different men and women to touch and penetrate your body simultaneously is incredibly erotic."

8. Who's your daddy?
If there's one thing that women are dying to do, it's dominate a man like never before. The creative ideas that flowed from this topic were quite interesting, to say the least. They included:

• spanking him
• ordering him to perform certain sexual acts
• making him beg for what he wants
• having him suck on their stiletto heels or some other phallic object

7. Lay me out on display
In today's world of confident women, I was not surprised to learn that many of them fantasize about having an audience whilst engaging in sexual acts with a partner. I guess the idea of knowing that others are getting excited by their "performance" provides them with a feeling of empowerment.

6. Sexually ravaged
Although most women agreed that they fantasize about having a master, their role in the scenario differed. Whereas some women said that they would surrender to their master's demands, others opposed the idea and said that they would resist and disobey his commands.

5. I taw, I taw a putty tat
Come on, guys, I'm sure you smelled this one coming from miles away (no pun intended... seriously). Yes, virtually every woman wants or will share her body with another woman. Are you jealous because you get left out? Don't be, most of these women want their man to watch them while they work... or play, as the case may be.

4. Leave a good tip
Keeping in mind that the women interviewed are professionals with commendable careers, some of them fantasized about being strippers, while others took things a step further and imagined being prostitutes. Obviously, the fantasy is romanticized beyond belief because the life of either is not so glamorous that women would opt to have it as a career choice.

3. Two can chew
Most men enjoy being spoiled by two women who fawn over them simultaneously. In the same instance, women also fantasize about having two men all over their bodies. Some wanted a more gentle erotic scene, while the rare few wanted porno-like sex.

2. Strap me on, I'm going in
By far, one of the most popular fantasies women have is being the man for one night... literally. They would like to act and dress up like a man, and I mean straight down to the penis. That's right, I'm referring to a strap-on penis

1. Ooh, my virgin ears
Although saying "rape fantasy" sounds somewhat unthinkable, that's exactly what most women call it. They want to play the innocent, naïve, unknowing little girl who gets taken advantage of by the devious, predator-like man.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


I was emailed by a man today who is normally a Dom. But he had an experience last week where he was a switch and allowed a woman to take over his pleasure. She tied him to a chair and tied is cock and balls tightly with rope. She dominated the entire session. He asked me if I would ever give up being submissive one night to dominate Master C.

That was an easy question for me to answer. I guess if I was only into this relationship for the sex then I could (if Master C allowed it) but because I am into this for the lifestyle then it would never work. A Sub can and will always be a submissive person. It would not work if one day I was telling Master what to do, then the next day I was completely submissive to him. Where is the respect? How do the rules work? Are there repercussions for my actions?

I would be lost. And being lost with Master C would be the breakdown of our relationship, I think. What do you think? Do you think a relationship can truly have a switch?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Walk Home Part II

Last November I posted a story called The Walk Home
Shortly after I wrote that story I got a email from someone who took it upon himself to finish the story. I wasn't sure what to think of the story but or some reason today, I decided to post it...

After our little escapade against the lamppost, we walk the few blocks to our house quickly, giggling, stopping to kiss and whisper sweet nothings. You are clearly excited to have been watched, to have your ass naked under the streetlight, to be seen fucking with abandon. You naughtily suggest we should have invited the two kids back to our place. Being more pragmatic, I question if they are 18 yet! Anyway, I think I can satisfy you.

As we reach the front door, I can hardly get the key in the lock, I am so excited. Once inside, standing in the living room with no lights on, I start tearing your clothes off, then quickly remove my shirt and jeans too... I push you down onto the sofa, kissing you deeply, my hands on your firm breasts, feeling your erect nipples, teasing them..... I kiss you, moving slowly down your neck, lightly biting, then move to your hard nipples, sucking them, twirling my tongue around them, enjoying their erect playfulness, loving your moaning... I take my time kissing, licking them, my hand brushing your short, trimmed pubic hair, not touching your sex, making you wait. "Fucking eat me, you tease" you finally beg. Being your attentive lover, I take the hint, sliding down your sweaty body, kissing lightly as I go, until my mouth is over your pussy, you feel my hot breath. For a few seconds, I stop, breathing, keeping you waiting.... Your pussy emits the strong scent of horniness, my tongue caresses your outer lips, circling, tasting your wetness, the saltiness of my semen which was recently deposited... slowly, teasingly my tongue finds your engorged clit, licking it, circling it, sucking it into my mouth. You are moaning harder now, I can tell you are enjoying yourself... I leave your clit and move to your inner lips, my tongue snaking inside, tasting my semen mixed with your copious fluids. I lap up as much as I can, then move up and kiss you so you can share the taste of your sex, our tongues entwine, you love the flavor, the saltiness.... there will be more of that later, I whisper, then return to my task, teasing your clit, licking your lips, using my tongue to fuck you. My hands raise your ass up, so I have access to your puckered nether hole, I circle it with my tongue, and feel you shiver. Your juices are flooding out, dripping down your crack... I continue to tease your anus, licking back and forth, probing with my tongue, feeling you breathe harder, as you anticipate an invasion ... but not yet!

I move my tongue back to your clit, and slowly circle your anus with my finger, feeling you wriggle and moan.... I resist the strong urge to penetrate your tight rear hole, even though I know you would like it in you current state of arousal... I know it would quickly lead to you begging me to fuck your ass hard, and I want to continue to orally please you .. so instead I slip first one, then two finger insides your pussy, curving my fingers up till I find that spongy area, and press hard on your g-spot.... I am sucking and licking and circling your clit, thrust my fingers in and out, I feel, and hear, an earthquake coming, the sofa is shaking, you are trembling, screaming, your hands forcing my head into your pussy .... I keep up my ministrations as the waves roll over you, fucking you harder now with two fingers inside, keeping your orgasm going, going, going, till finally, you release my head and beg me to stop. I sit up and watch as you slowly calm down, watching your face grinning and happy..... one satisfied sex kitten....

Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Presidents Day

Happy Presidents Day. This day will always have a special place in my heart. 13 years ago I gave birth to my beautiful daughter on this day. Although, 3 days earlier I was pissed off that my husband, at the time, decided he was going to go into work. You see, it was Valentines Day and I was scheduled to have my baby that day. So not only was I now past due but my husband rather go to work then to be with me. I guess I could sort of understand…who wants to be with a woman who is 9 months pregnant and past her due date. So my wonderful parents decided that I should not be alone and they wanted to take me out to dinner. How sweet of them so they took me to the Olive Garden. This turned out to be a nightmare. We get there and the place is packed. It was going to be at least 45 minute wait. I realized that it was Vday and that any place we went would be busy. So I am standing there… 9 months pregnant (and I looked it) my legs were swollen, no husband to comfort me, and I’m not very happy. Now…do you think that 1 person, 1 man, would say…. Would you like to take my seat? NO!!! No one would give it up. My dad even complained to the restaurant to try and get me a chair. NOTHING! I stood for an hour before they took us in.

All I could do was wish my water would break and they would have to clean up the mess. LOL But a few days later I was in labor and my daughter was born. She and my son are my world and would never regret a single day. Happy Birthday Ashley.

Friday, February 12, 2010


Sometimes I get emailed something that completely captures my true feelings of being a sub. Below is one of those emails.

I figured you would understand better than most. You must love being taken, too. Giving yourself to your Master, feeling his strength and how it makes you want to give in completely to his every whim and heighten your desire to please him in any way he demands. I love being a dom and having a woman willingly give me every bit of her body and soul. To know that even when I am rough, she takes satisfaction knowing that she is pleasing me. To make you do things that you would only do for me, and only because I ask them of you, and I only ask them of you to allow you to prove your devotion. That symbiotic relationship between dom and sub is a wonderfully powerful thing.
It's interesting talking about both sides of the dynamic. When I talk to submissive women, what I often find is that men want to demand sex, but most don't appreciate or respect what being submissive really is, and how much of a true gift it is to a man when you offer yourself to him. A real dom understands and cherishes the gift his sub offers.


Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Phone Guy

Master C came over last night. I was grateful that he was going to allow me to apologize to him in person. He also came over to help me fix my computer. I have not been able to get online since I moved in. Well to make a long story short I spent most of my evening on the phone with AT&T. But Master C didn’t let it bother him. He stood before me and told me to get to my knees. He dropped his pants and forced his cock down my throat.

The man on the phone kept asking me questions and I was answering him with my mouth full.
Master C thrusting his cock further and further down the back of my throat. I know the guy on the other end heard me moaning and the sound of my lips as I came up for air. But he never stopped talking on the other end. The longer he was on the phone the more turned on I got. But this was not important… I know this was to be about pleasing Master C. This was my punishment for the last day or so. He gets all the pleasure and I have to wait for mine another day.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Reporting Some Sad News


UPDATE: February 9, 2010: It is with great sadness that we say goodbye to our dad - Captain Phil Harris. Dad has always been a fighter and continued to be until the end. For us and the crew, he was someone who never backed down. We will remember and celebrate that strength. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers. - Jake and Josh Harris

Statement from Discovery - Discovery mourns the loss of dear friend and colleague Captain Phil Harris. He was more than someone on our television screen. Phil was a devoted father and loyal friend to all who knew him. We will miss his straightforward honesty, wicked sense of humor and enormous heart. We share our tremendous sadness over this loss with the millions of viewers who followed Phil's every move. We send our thoughts and prayers to Phil's sons Josh and Jake and the Cornelia Marie crew.

I'm So Sorry

How do I get myself into these messes? Master C is so upset with me. Yesterday afternoon I said something without thinking and it offended him greatly. I have apologized over and over and promised him I would do anything to make it up to him but he still won’t forgive me.

I’m sorry…What more can I say? I adore you and I want to make this right between us. I was attempting to be funny and I failed miserably. Please forgive me and in the future I will count to 5 before I say such offensive things. I forgot that rule when I wrote it but I will work on my approach in the future. I know this week has been really rough on you and I promise to be more sensitive to your needs.

Sir, please forgive me…

Love Always

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Pleasent Surprise

Its late… Master C isn’t coming over. So I decided to go bed. It doesn’t take long before I was asleep.

A short time later I woke up and looked at the clock. The time is 12:35 and I think I hear a noise downstairs. It must be the dog, so I close my eyes and quickly fall back to sleep. Before I knew it I felt the weight of another person lie down beside me. His hands run up my leg and over my ass. I can feel the nakedness of a man cradled up next to me. I know this feeling. I know who this is. I feel his breathe on the back of my neck. My eyes are still closed. His hardon is pushed up firm against my ass. I adjust myself so his cock would insert its self into my awaiting wet pussy.

My heart is pounding with excitement. His cock thrusting deep inside me. I can’t get enough of him. Harder and faster, it seemed to last forever and yet not long enough. He has made me cum several times before he cam himself. We lie there with me in Master C’s arms still shaking from the after effects of incredible and unpredictable sex.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Internet

The things you can learn on the internet… If you ever wanted to get to know a person all you have to do is look on their Facebook page or Myspace, dating sites, or simply do a search of the person's name. You can learn about their friends, what kind of life they lead, or simply confirm what you already know. Hmmm, look out!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

In Her Memory

Earlier in the week there was a loss of a woman I never met but wish I had. Her son means a lot to me and I wish I was able to comfort him. And out of respect for the both of them I wont go on much further…

 I want you to know that your mother raised a wonderful son and I will be there in anyway that you need me.

With all my love, Carrie

Monday, February 1, 2010

Away For A Few Days

I wanted to let you all know that I will not be blogging for the next 2 or 3 days. I will be off and as most of you know I do not post at home. So I hope I will be missed.

My Bratty Ways Corrected

Saturday was great… The kids were away from the house until 5pm. So this was a perfect time for Master C to come over and spend the day. We decided we were going to take the dogs to the dog park for a while but before we did that Master C wanted to have a little fun. And of course I was all for that.
So he came over, we settled the dogs and we went straight to the bedroom. All I wanted to do was kiss him, hold him, and to play out his desires. But before we got started Master C reminded me that I was being bratty earlier on in the week and he was going to settle it. He sat on the edge of my bed and had me stand before him. “take off your shorts and panties” So I did. I was between his legs when he turned me to the side and bent me over his knee. SLAP! There was a short sting. SLAP! Ouch, that hurts. SLAP SLAP SLAP…I didn’t think his hand would be so painful. SLAP SLAP…This went on for a while longer. I am starting to squirm. When it was over my ass was red and it burned but I was dripping wet. So much pain but yet so much pleasure.
Thank you Sir for your correction of me and for the pleasure that I received before and after.