Friday, October 30, 2009

My GYN Appointment

The other day I told a couple of my followers I had an appointment with my gyn for a routine checkup and they thought it would be a good idea for me to post about it. This is not something I would normally do but as I was in waiting room my blog jumped into my head once again.


I have to put my 2 cents worth in before I start…Any man who complains when a doctor sticks their finger up your ass for a second or 2 should step into a woman’s world for a day. I had to step into a small room that was freezing, and completely strip naked, with no protection except for this little paper gown that wouldn’t fit a child. I had cold metal instruments that spread me open and fingers shoved deep inside me. OK…Its not as bad as I am making it sound…all I am saying is if I am going to have some one fondle me down there I should be getting off on it..LOL



Anyhow, it was a routine exam and I am better then fine. Hope all my pervert followers out there enjoyed my post today. Just kidding :-) Love you all

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Lunar Eclipse

It was a warm, breezy summer night. My man and I went down to a beach a few miles out of town, to swim and later, watch the lunar eclipse. There were a lot of people on the beach, some had their camping chairs there, some, like us, had a rug spread out. Evening fell and the moon rose, light streaming across the bay, highlight the waves as they rolled in. The breeze still blowing, the clouds floated quickly across the sky, blocking the moon, bringing darkness as if a dimmer switch was turned slowly. Then as the clouds blew by, the moon would once again cast its stream of light across the water towards us.


 I was wearing a bikini top and shorts. We started  making out, cuddling and kissing. His wandering fingers would brush over my pussy, and I was wet, I am sure there was a clear circle of dampness... I could see out of the corner of my eye some people around us watching, smiling as we went at each other like young lovers. I didn't mind, I like people to watch.


As the sun and moon drew closer together, the skies began to darken. As we were far out of town there is no glow from streetlights, and the beach became pitch black. I started to fondle his cock, feeling him harden instantly. His hands reached inside the crotch of my shorts, his fingers exploring my wetness. I rolled him on his back, pulled down his shorts, and let his cock spring up, and immediately engulfed it in my mouth. His cock is average length, but thick and beautiful, circumcized....He moans quietly, his hands on my head, playing with my hair, forcing me down on him. I taste his pre-cum I know I don't have long before the darkness lifts, so I dip my finger in my wet pussy (oh god, that feels good) then wet it and push against his tight arsehole. There is not much resistance, he loves me to finger him there and my finger slides in, all the way, I put pressure on his prostate as I suck him off... he is forcing my head up and down, fucking my mouth, I fuck his ass with my finger, he is groaning loudly now, and he unloads himself in my awaiting mouth.  


As I sit up, I realize the eclipse is over, people around can see us clearly, they start laughing and whispering, god knows what. I stand up fix my clothing and grab our things. This night was amazing.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Submissive


She stands there tall, proud,
nipple's erect,
eyes glowing,
sweat pouring,
charged with
sexual energy.


Each stroke of the lash
takes her higher.
Slowly her body goes limp,
all feeling gone,
to that place that allows
her to be free.


The weight of her body falls
against the chains
that bind her.
There is no resistance left
in her, as he takes
her body and bends it to
his will....

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Swallowing

Why is it that men love when women swallow? In the 36 years I have been alive I had only done this once. It was several years ago and swore never to do this again. But recently I was forced to do so. And I have got to say…It wasn’t as bad as I remembered. It took me a while to get it down and yes some of it did leak out…but when I am forced to do something it turned me on greatly. I am not sure why this is because I hate to be forced but it is so erotic. Now when my Master says to suck his cock I know that I have to do it until he is bone dry.

Monday, October 26, 2009

How Do You Punish

This is a post for all the Dom’s that read my blog. I need to know your thoughts on a situation… I know in the D/s world that punishment is the way of life when a rule is broken. I get that and understand it. What I want to know is…. What is the punishment that you prefer to give your submissive? What is worse then the pain inflicted? Do you make her wait? Or do you tell her how and when? Does the punishment turn you on? Do you have sex with her before or after the punishment?

For those of you who know my email please email me your comments to me or you can post them below.


For all the Submissives out there who read my blog…How do you feel about being punished? Please give me details of your experiences.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

My New Boss

I dont write much fantasy but this came into my head and I just had to post it. ENJOY 


I am currently working as your executive assistant and as part of my duties I have been asked to get important reports to your shareholders by 1:00 today. I know they are important but I have a lot on my mind and I could not get them out until 3:00. The phones won't stop ringing--- they are trying to call you to complain. Of course I am unaware of this and you took it upon yourself to call the IT guys to track what I have been doing on my computer and it seems you caught me chatting with a man in a very sexual manner.

You call me into your office and lay out a printed copy of my emails. Told me I was going to lose my job for using company property to have Internet sexual relations. And on top of that the shareholders are very upset I was so late on their reports. I start to cry and tell you " I am sorry." "Please I need my job" You turn to me and say there is nothing he can do that you cant have this type of behavior going on in your office. " I understand but if there is something I can do to make it up to you Sir?"

"Well, I could give you a second chance but the punishment will be severe. Would you be willing to accept that punishment?"

"What's the punishment?" I look at you with embarrassed eyes.

" No, I will not tell you. You will just agree and go back to your desk and come and see me at 5:00 when the rest of the office goes home... Will you agree?"

"Yes Sir, I will do as you ask of me. I am committed to you and your company" I walk out of your office with my head down. I have no idea what you have planned but if I can keep my job for such a great company I would be grateful.

The next couple of hours are agony. I have a pit in my stomach. I just want this over with. The other girls in the office keep walking up to me with these sympathetic eyes. I don"t know why they do that. It's making me nervous.

Its 5:00 and the office is empty except for me and you. I knock on your door "Come in"

"Sir, You wanted to see me" I say softly

"Yes, Please stand in front of my desk"

"Yes Sir"

" I want you to do exactly what I ask..no questions. Agree?"

"Yes Sir"

" I want you to pull up your skirt and bend over my desk."

"But Sir"

"No Questions, or you will be on your way. " you said firmly.

Now I know why the other girls were giving me that look. They all must have been though this same experience. So I decided to do as you ask. I pulled up my skirt, Im warring nothing but a thong underneath feeling every exposed and I bend slowly over the desk. I hear the sound of your belt being slid out of your pant hoops. I cant no believe I am doing this. Is a job worth this? ...Yes it's worth it.

And without much warning and not saying a word SMACK (I think my eyes are going to pop out) SMACK (Shit) SMACK (tears are forming) SMACK (My bottom is on fire) SMACK (I yelped a little) SMACK (Oh my god, I cant take much more) SMACK (crying) SMACK "Please, Im sorry Sir" SMACK "SORRY" (crying loudly) SMACK "Pleeeese"

"Get up and compose yourself"

I stand up and fix my skirt, I'm looking at the floor. Still crying

"I am never going to speak of this again. You have a clean slate do not screw up. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir, I'm sorry..Thank you Sir" I walked out of the office got my things and went into the restroom. I looked in the mirror at my very bruised and welted ass. Ouch! it really hurts but for some reason I am never felt so alive. I think you, my new boss... I know that you care so deeply about your company that you must be sure I will be a team player.

What Am I In To???

This morning I was emailed, asking me what was I in to…. pain, bondage, just being submissive. I would have to say that I am into making my man happy. If he is turned on and he is pleased with me then I am happy. And if that involves pain or bondage then that is what I will take. I have been tied up and hit with canes and belts and the pain was awful but when it gets him off then I get off on that. So, what does that make me??? I am not sure…I guess that might be defined as a sex slave. You tell me?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I Need You

I haven't been fucked in so long, I need to come sooo badly. The wind outside is howling, but here in my cozy bedroom, I lay on my bed, naked, fantasizing about you, your hardness inside me, the heat as we make love... my hand is touching my pussy now, my fingers spreading my opening wide, carressing my nub, ready for your thick, long, throbbing dick to plunge inside me... but you are not there. Tonight you are hundreds of miles away. No use to me at all. I have to do something to ease the tension, I need to masturbate, I need an O, a big O, and I need it now. My fingers are frantically thrusting into my soaking wet pussy, but it's not enough. I want you, I want to feel you inside me. Stretching me, filling me with your cock, pounding me ... Where are you when I need you? I reach into the drawer where our tools of sex are kept, I pull out the big dildo, it's almost the same size as you, eight inches of hardness, but it doesn't feel the same.  Please come to me.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Viewer Email

You are so open and so expressive. Making love to you as a Lover must be an incredible experience. Your writing style draws your reader intimately by your side transforming us from the voyeurs to the Lover you long for and lust after.

You are inspirational and deserve great soaring heights of success and happiness. Hopefully some of it achieved right here with new raving fans chanting in accolade, "Give us more, Reina!"

Michael

Missing You

Before RT was in my life I hadn't had sex in almost a year and hadn't slept in the same room with him  for 3 years. This is what I would think about...maybe you all can understand how I felt. Expecally, those who have wives that aren't very intrested in sex anymore.

I miss you. I miss waking up with your early morning hardon pressing into my bottom as we spoon. I miss the leisurely fucking that almost always follows. I miss the days when I pretend to remain asleep and enjoy your fingers exploring my pussy and arsehole. I miss those days when I wake early, and draw the sheets back gently to see your stubbly face, your naked body, your hairy chest, your dark nipples, your cock nestling peacefully in its curly nest. I miss taking it in my mouth, feeling its softness turn slowly to a raging hardon as I suck it slowly, waking you gently. I miss the grin that spreads across your face as, eyes still closed, you realize what is going on. I miss the way you pretend you are still asleep while enjoying my ministrations, the tell-tale gentle thrusting up to meet my mouth as I devour your cock. I miss the moment when all pretense is over and you open your eyes, and I know that the moment is near. I miss that moment when I stop sucking your rigid cock and move up to straddle it. To slide your big thick cock slick with my saliva into my dripping pussy. I miss starting to fuck you while rubbing my clit furiously. When you reach up and pinch and twist my hard nipples, while trying to hold back your orgasm till I've come. I miss that moment when my pussy begins to spasm, and I ride you hard, finally you give yourself permission to release your jets of thick cum deep inside me. When I collapse onto your chest, and kiss you deeply, feeling your cock soften inside me. I miss those morning fucks. Singular masturbation is nice, but it just doesn't do it for me like you do. I miss you so.

SEX

SEX… The word from what I see means two different things. For men it is an act that defines who they are. I think for most men sex is great with the person they love and care about but when it comes down to it, men will just do it with anyone they might be remotely attracted to. But sex for a woman is about what leads up to the act. It is all about how they get there. Whether it is dinner and a movie with her man or really good conversation. This is not to say woman don’t have one night stands but it tends to be with someone whom she has some sort of connection with.

I myself, love sex…. I love how it makes me feel. I love that I feel closer to my man when I have it. And like most woman I have to have a clear and strong connection to the man that I lie down with.

What do you think? Am I right about men and woman? I would love to know your thoughts about this subject.



Monday, October 19, 2009

Viewer Email

Sometimes I like to post comments or eamils that I get from my viewers. This is an email I got the other day that sums up my feelings about this blog...Goog Job D

The first thing I can tell you is that you are certainly not alone in feeling the way you do. I have personally known many strong feminist women who enjoyed being submissive in sex. It could be said to be part of the genetic female experience.

All humans have two parts to the brain; one part is the animal part which controls our basic insticts (fear, domination ...) and the other part is the intellectual part makes us civilised. As a man, my animal brain would love to drag any female in sight back to my cave and to ravage her on the floor. Unfortunately my intellect gets in the way, and I make charming conversation instead...

Anyway........................ how exciting to discover this inner burning that you know you will cede to one day soon. You are dying to experiment, but you don't know who with......

D

Farewell

For those of you who have noticed I have not been posting about RT over the past week. That is because things have ended between us. We are not on bad terms, it happened because of my personal situation that I can not go into on here. So this is my final farewell to RT. I had a great time and a wonderful experience.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Below is the paddle that was used on me several times. I hate that paddle and was only used as punishment. I wish never to see it again in person but thought it would excite some of you to see and to read RT's take on this very big and painful implement.  

Paula Dean--The Great Equalizer




Paula Dean is a biker and general rough girl but she could never imagine, I think, that her presentation cutting board would ever become what I call The Great Equalizer! It is a perfect paddle. Not to cause a lot of sting but to cause lasting soreness. It is heavy, very very heavy which puts me in a difficult position since I hate to work for my pain offerings but with it just swinging it is work! It is long enough to cover both cheeks if you want and thin enough to hurt more than a wider paddle but its weight that makes it a great paddle. As you can see from the photo to add more insult I have not even remove the price tag to let her know that she is getting it from a Walmart specials rack so I did not even spend too much on her torture, just a little be more to cheapen the beating!


Why do I call it The Great Equalizer? Well she is afraid of it and after or before the beating I like to have her serve cookies or something on it so that she has to see she did not even deserve a proper paddle and is being beaten with an off the rack serving cutting board! I relish bringing it out because just seeing it she gets nervous. It is a ton of fun for me because the temporary immediate pain is adequate but the aching pain lasts 2-3 days because of the way it works. She remembers me for several days and by the time it comes to the next beating her ass still feels a little of the last one. All misbehaving or behavior medication puts me as her ruler the second I mention The Great Equalizer because it puts her in a very obedient mood.


So go off to Walmart and buy one for yourself. Nothing like serving your friends and family on it because it makes a beautiful presentation and then putting it on your sub’s ass at the end of the evening, or in my case before and after so the memories are very longing for my sub. I am sure your sub will not thank me for this “cooking” tip, but you will! Afterall us Dom’s have to trade a few torture recipes don’t we?









Erotic Movie Review

 I watched a movie with Master C a few weeks ago called The Story Of O, and he wanted my review on it. So here is what I was thinking...


 You told me this morning that it is the thrill of the unknown that excites me. I have to say that this is very much true. The woman in the movie said that very same thing. She was about to be raped by Seth and she was bent over the sofa and her thought was to leave, she was frightened and humiliated but it was the thrill on how the story will end that excited her so much. I believe it is that same thrill that keeps me going on with the pain that you inflict. I do not like the pain. I am not very good at handling it. I am ashamed that I can not even remain standing bent over for you to finish your session on me. It gives me such conflicting feelings that I prefer just not deal with it. But as I said before it is years of fantasy and the excitement of the unknown that compels me to push forward and do as you ask of me.


I really liked the movie. Probably for different reasons then you. The first reason is stated above. Secondly, I liked that she was so willing to take what ever it was her Master was telling her to do. She never seemed scared although she most likely was. Thirdly, she lived on the the love of her Master. When the loved stopped she was willing to move on and accepted the love of someone else. On the visual part of the movie, it was very hot and sexy. I liked the beginning where he had the woman take her clothes off in the car. Then the stay at the castle.
Later that night, after the movie, I know that I was a baby about the paddle. It was so awful but afterwards when you would hold me and rub my ass. I felt very close to you. It seems the more you hit me the more I love your closeness. Yes, you still frighten me but deep down I trust you a great deal. 

I recommend this movie to all Doms and subs if you haven't seen it already. Enjoy!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Greek Vacation

This is purly fantasy but I thought I would share it with all of you. This story was very erotic in my head because I love to watch others doing the deed.

We are on a dream vacation in the picturesque sunwashed town of Santorini in Greece. We have just woken up, and are having breakfast on the balcony of our villa. The vista is amazing, the whitewashed villas seemingly randomly built over the hillside. Below us, we can see the patios of other villas. You nudge me and point to the patio below us. A man and a woman are naked - the man is leaning over the woman who is lying on a chaise long. They are gorgeous, suntanned, firm bodies, the woman has no tan lines, and has obviously been soaking up the sun. The man is beside her on his knees and they kiss, a long, deep french kiss, his hands wander over her body.

We watch intently as he moves down her body, kissing her breasts, sucking her nipples lightly. We can hear some faint moaning as his tongue glides down her body. She is mostly clean shaven with a small tuft of black hair, and he movies down to lick her pussy, he positions himself between her legs... we can see his tongue working its magic, the girl is playing with her nipples, squeezing her breasts. She is speaking to him in French, telling him what to do.... her moans get louder, he is fingering her as he eats her, his tongue alternating between deep plunges into her vagina and licking around her labia... she starts to come, she is noisy, "i suis lĂ  ne s'arrĂȘtent pas" which means "i am there, don't stop"... he works his magic on her till her moans subside.

She grins, looks at him naughtily as she turns over on her stomach. "Baise-moi dans le cul..." - fuck me in the ass. He stands up, we see his cock is long and hard, his lean muscular body. He reaches over, grabs some sun tan oil, and pours it down her crack, then applies some to her asshole. Slowly he wiggles a finger into her tight hole. He looks up, sees us watching, grins, ad whispers to his girlfriend. She looks up and sees us too. She smiles. She obviously enjoys being watched.



Trust

I believe there are many aspects to building trust in a relationship. I do believe that respect is essential. If you lose respect for your partner, you will eventually lose the trust. Communication is important, but can be meaningless without complete honesty. If you have open, honest, meaningful communication, trust can grow and strengthen. Forgiveness is also very important. We all mess up sometimes. We say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or hurt our partners sometimes without even knowing it. We must be able to divulge and forgive. No holding grudges! In my experience, the grudge holding can start a chain reaction that can severely damage respect and trust between two people.

As for spanking, I do believe the trust must be there before you engage in this activity. I also believe it can strengthen the trust, love and respect you have for your partner and bring you closer together as a couple and as friends. I have only expirenced a small part of this lifestyle but I know it is something I need to explore more.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Mystery

A little amount of mystery can be truly exciting. Like getting a big boxed gift for Christmas. But a big amount of mystery, especially for a sub, is erotic, sexy, adventurous. The thought makes me hot and extremely wet.



Think about this.... A walk in the park, its late at night, a man walks up behind me and tells me to close my eyes and not to open them. His voice is sexy. His dominance strong. He takes hold of my hair and tells me to suck his cock. I give little whimpers of pleasure as he tells me how he wants it. It brings me to the brink of orgasm as he explodes himself. Its one of the most erotic experiences of my life..never seeing him, only the promise of another day.

Quotes

I want to share some of the quotes that some of you wrote. Thank you to all who are enjoying my writings.

Just read your blog and it's damn sexy...i really love erotic stories cause the mind is so important. the seduction or the detail of the way we can be seduced has such importance for what 's gonna happen next. The all life is sexy....have fun.

-stephane



Your sexual highs have been transferred over to me through your willingness to share your personal adventures.It is like I am there and feeling the same things you are!!!!! wow ---great stuff.


- Richard


Do you feel like an exhibitionist with it yet----------- it is intensely personal and erotic. I feel like I am waiting for my turn to intensely pleasure you.

-Michael

Very interesting stories of sorts. They all had one thing in common. They were both detailed and vague at the same time. You said a lot yet you said nothing. Well done.

-QCLC

I read the first page and it's really sexy. It feels very personal, and I will enjoy reading about how this relationship progresses. It turns me on to read how turned on you are getting by being dominated

- Mike

Remember by giving away all of your self power is the way you truly become powerful.


-thet3k

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Voice

What is it about a certain men's voice that can turn me on? I hear it and instantly I am wet. I get quite, my head starts to spin. I wish that he were next to me. What is it about the dominance in a man's voice that gets me weak in the knees? I love when the voice is strong and authoritative. It’s just so Sexy! So Hot! So Loving! Its Just Soooo Right!!!!

Inspirational

Inspiration is a word I heard a few times this past weekend. I mentioned last week I went to Orlando. I went to meet my birth father after 32 years. This was a hard trip for me. My father left my mother and me when I was very young without any support from him. So this trip was to get some answers that I had been longing for, for a long time. And that did happen for me and I forgive him for what he did. He seems very remorseful and has found god and good friends to support him. My father (I call him Michael) took me to his church, not usually my thing, but I went and there were about 100 or so people there who at the moment I arrived knew Michael’s story and knew me. We were brought up on stage and the pastor had made an entire sermon about our story and how I came about to find Michael and how Michael went from being homeless and no family to his life turning around when I got in contact with him. They say our story is inspirational. So all and all it was a good trip. It made me think about how my life turned out. I had a good childhood and a great life so I guess I should thank him for that.

Friday, October 9, 2009

My First Threesome

 Anyone who knows me will tell you I am shy by nature. I wonder at times how it is that I get myself into these sexual situations. I lot of the times I need to be told how and when to do such acts. Quite a few years ago I had my first threesome encounter. I was extremely nervous but it turned out to be one of my most erotic sexual experiences of my life.

My guy John picked me up at my house about 9 in the evening. He's 6 foot, a construction worker, ruggedly handsome and strong. He told me to be dressed to kill, as we were going to a pool / swing party at a hotel down by the beach. So I took a shower, shaved all my private places (he liked my pussy completely shaved, ready for his tongue). I got out of the shower, put my hair up and did my makeup. Back then, I was 28, 5'5", 115 lbs. I was dressed in a pink short dress with a black ribbon that tied around my waist with 3" high heel shoes. (Steve Madden sandal style, I love those shoes).




Anyway, looking sweet, John and I got into the car and drove to the beach. It was warm but windy outside. Like it gets when a storm is coming in off the ocean. The waves were pretty high but luckily we were headed to the sheltered penthouse. There was a pool and a bar up there with a DJ in the corner. I was surprised by the type of people there. Some were stunning but a lot of them were normal looking people. Husband and wife types, mostly 35-55. There were people in the pool swimming nude - one couple older, and one extremely beautiful couple, the blond swimming on her back, her large breasts above the surface. A couple getting close in the corner, their hands obviously playing with each other. There were three couples in the hot tub, playing with each other and giggling. I could hear sexy chit chat from the people at the bar and from the tables that surrounded the pool, as people remarked on the sexy outfits and made suggestive comments.


John left me sitting near the pool to get us drinks, and I watched the people in the pool. It was very erotic watching them, I do love to watch. John returned and an attractive young woman approached the table, said hi to John, smiled at me. Turns out John had invited her, too, and had not told me his plan. Her name was Jayne and she was about 5'0, 115 lbs and cute. She had to be wearing 5" stiletto heels because when she stood next to me she was almost as tall as I. She seemed quite sexy but I had no idea what was about to happen. We all left the table and I let John lead the way. The weather was getting worse so John suggested we go inside, he had got us a room on the 3rd floor. The three of us walked in... The people outside the room were looking at us with knowing smiles.

Thank You Followers

I love all the emails and comments that you have sent me. I am so pleased that so many of you have taken the time to read about my submissive adventures. This weekend I have something special planned for my blog and hope that you will enjoy it. That is if I can figure out how to make it work on here. LOL


Is there anything that you would like to know about me or about this blog? I would love to do an question/answer segment here.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My First Post October 1, 2009

Many of you have emailed me on how I met RT and how I got into the lifestyle of D/s. So I am reposting my very first post for your review.  


This blog is for my Master RT, as a gift. I want to share my most personal feelings for him and how I got involved in the lifestyle. I am a newbi, that is what RT likes to call me and this is my journey into how I am learning to become his submissive.



Background: I have only known RT for about a month and from the moment I met him I have fallen head over heels. For years I have fantasized about living the life of a submissive, a slave to her man, or simply wanting to be spanked in the bedroom. I am 36 years old with two children and have always led a vanilla lifestyle but have dreamed of something more erotic, loving and disciplining form of a relationship.



RT is a well experienced dominant who has no patience in dealing with someone as new as I. But somehow I have warmed his heart and as you read the stories of our journey together you will see how I am learning day by day how to serve my Master and how my mistakes are punished and my obedience is rewarded.


I look forward in hearing your comments and perhaps suggestions on how I can be a better sub to my man.

Your Ideas

This weekend RT and I are heading to Orlando to spend a nice evening together. He tells me he has a lot of things planned for me. He has giving me subjects to blog about when I get home. His suggestions goes as follows… The use of a steal cane, bondage, asphyxiation. He wants me to explain how I felt about these sessions and about him. RT won’t tell me his plan for the use of such things so that in itself is scary to me.


To all my new followers… What type of sessions would you have planned for your new slave?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Praying Mantis



In my earlier post I write about what it was like for me to be sufficated by RT. The post below is RT's take on the event. I know it is a bit long and for those who like my short posts I encourage you to read on. You won't be disappointed.


I felt like a praying mantis all day. Longing to put her in position and like a praying mantis pouncing my hand over her nose and mouth and literally steal her breath little by little. I knew I would not go all the way until she passed out, I am too afraid because of her medical condition, but I knew I would be able to take her to a new level of sexual excitement. Little did I know that despite of my experience doing this, it would take me there too beyond my usual expectations.



All day I wanted to have her so I could do this to her. I wanted her to experience trust and to experience the excitement of asphyxia in the safety of my hands. I wanted to assume the position so powerful over her. I wanted to lead her into it slowly to scare her and to check her level of trust. Being a massage therapist amongst other kinds of therapies I know muscle tension and I know hesitation tension and I wanted to feel her hesitation or her trust. Not her fear, my words and priming of her mind took care of that. I wanted to gauge her trust in me, although I already knew that when it comes to letting me do things to her she is amazingly permissive. But this was serious and ultra-scary for someone who has only seen her less than 10 times over 1 month. But I believed in her and I felt she believed strongly in me.


Stealing My Breath

There are times when trust is all you have in a person. Trust is the biggest gift I can give to my Master. I am learning that trust is what submission is all about.... Last night put that trust to the test.

My favorite sexual position is the doggie style. I love it when RT is behind me, pounding me. The sensation is incredible. It puts him right there in that spot. It also puts him in a great position to beat me with the cane. He tries to make me cum with the pain and although it takes me longer to do this then it normally does I did do it. I am out of breath when it is over. Feeling the welts on my back sting as I start to relax. RT starts to kiss my back and gives those little bites that I love so much. I feel closer to him with every little kiss. He reaches around me and pulls my arms, criss cross, tight around to my back. This is hurting my shoulders but I lay there taking it. I trust he will not do damage. I know this because he was in the medical field for many years. Anyway, he is laying on my back so I can’t move then he puts his hand over my mouth. I cant breathe. It seems like forever. I am kicking, I can't scream. My body feels hot. I am scared. He is saying things to me in my ear that I am not registering but its freaking me out. My body from my shoulders up is starting to get numb. My energy level is weaker. I can’t see anything.

 
RT lets up. I take a huge breath. I cant seem to get enough air. I am freaked out. I am crying. RT hugs me. I am shaking. My body is trembling for what seems like forever. He lays me on his chest. I still can’t catch my breath. RT tells me in a few minutes I will feel such a low that I will get tired and weak. And right on cue he was right. As scary as this was... And the promise of next time he will do it until I black out.. I have never felt so close to him, so alive. I love that feeling. Total trust (although in the moment, I think I lost it) but I do trust him now more then ever.




This is not something I would ever think I would do. We had discussed this for several days before actually doing it. It was consensual although I was not sure when it would happen. The mind game of all of this was the worse torture of all. But this is what I love most of all.

His Point Of View

RT has written some things about me form his point of you. I thought if you liked reading this blog you might like this as well. Let me know what you think. You can leave a comment here or on his. I see them all :-)


http://carrieslove.blogspot.com/2009/10/you-failed-but-i-won.html

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Thank You For My Pleasure

My breathing is shorter and my moans louder. I need to cum, I want to cum but just as my O is about to happen WACK! the cane comes down on my back. WACK! WACK! WACK! It hurts so much my O is gone but the pleasure of you in my ass is so great I still want to climax. You stop moving so I push myself back onto you. Then with your thrust once again brings me to the edge again when I feel WACK! with the cane on my ass and WACK! again on my back...over and over again my O is gone but I am going to cum. I have to cum. The pressure to cum is so great that I will do it no matter how much you beat me. Then it happens. I am so hot for you. I am cumming. I feel my legs starting to shake, my body trembling. My breaths are deeper and slower. My head spinning. Thank you my Master, for my pleasure.




Monday, October 5, 2009

Your Gift of Dominance

You asked me a question last night that I had a hard time answering. That is, what makes you choose me? I answered you "I don't know" and that is the truth. I keep thinking about this question... I suppose I find you entertaining, smart, in tuned with me. For years I have had these fantasies of someone like you. Someone who is willing to take control, someone willing to take all responsibility away form me. I have fantasized about being spanked and liking it... The reality is, it is a lot harder then I dreamed. The pain itself was far harder to take and giving up control is not something I am doing well with. With that being said, I still find myself calling you and asking you over. I enjoy your closeness. I like that you want to hug me even though I am not satisfying you.


I get disappointed in myself when I am unable to take anymore pain and you are almost forced to stop. I try to remain your in position as much as possible but at times it's impossible. But you do cut me a break and we continue the session later in the evening. And although I protest I bend over for you because I want to make you proud of me.


In the end, I am glad I was able to take what you have given me and I do see it as a true gift of your dominance.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Proud of you! by RT

Pride takes many forms and has many meanings,
But pride in you emcompasses al forms and meanings,
I am full of pride and that is not always good for a Dom, but I am and I feel great about it!


Thank you for your great gift of :
love,
submission,
pain,
obedience,
your open expression starting with this blog and ending with all that your touches and kisses tell me without words,
and most of all the beautiful and wonderful journey we are taking together!


Tu Amo!

Control

Control is a word I hear a lot when talking to RT. He says I am always trying to take control of every situation. He says that to be a submissive I have to learn to relinquish that control. And to trust what he says because it is for my best interest. Over the past few weeks I have tried very hard to trust his decisions. I do still fight for control... especially when we are involved in one of our sessions. RT calls me a brat but he's been extremely patient with me. Now that we are into week 4 of our relationship I feel that I have gained so much in understanding on how this type of relationship works and the strength that forms into this special bond.

This week I have learned a valuable lesson, one that I will share at another time, but I know now that RT truly cares for me and adores what I have to offer him.Submission and obedience is the one true gift I can give him

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Rosy

The Rosy story was the first RT ever written me. I have never knew anyone who was in such tune with my mind and my body like he is. He wrote this after our first meeting. I knew he was someone I had to get to know better. It was not so much what he said to me but how he said it and later how he acted upon what he was saying that had such an impact on me.


Those that saw her never took more than a glance at her. She was remarkably unremarkable at first site. Nevertheless, she was a diamond in the rough that looked more like a regular rock than most rocks do. It took an expert’s eye to see the diamond through the dirt and encrusted rock that covered that beautiful diamond. The second she said 10 words to him, even without seeing her, he knew what she was. He was able to sense the diamond inside her even from afar. She herself thought she was remarkable unremarkable and did not know what she was but what mattered was that he knew.
She did not know she was deeply hurt at one time. She thought she was happy go lucky in most things but he saw the tear in your soul. It was not a bad one but it was there. He had to take care because she was a runner. While her mind and heart did not know how remarkable she was, her soul knew, and it was dying to show her the value she carried inside her. Without knowing, she was dying to find that remarkable ability that most people never get to experience in their lifetimes. That adventure that most only fantasize about because they do not have the courage to live it. However, she did have the courage, just that like most things in her life, she had not been able to exercise it so like a nervous horse she spooked easily and at every shadow. She believed she controlled her own destiny and did not notice that life controlled her far more than she was willing to admit. Because what she saw was what she wanted to see, she saw the story she wrote in her head and not the reality that happened. No she was not blind, dumb, or crazy, she lived a life starved of the excitement she craved and needed, a life controlled by others, a life that was the same day in and day out—a life where she thought she was in control but in reality a life out of her control. To make her face this would be a tough task, yet he was confident he could make her do it!

My First Post

This blog is for my Master RT, as a gift. I want to share my most personal feelings for him and how I got involved in the lifestyle. I am a newbi, that is what RT likes to call me and this is my journey into how I am learning to become his submissive.


Background: I have only known RT for about a month and from the moment I met him I have fallen head over heels. For years I have fantasized about living the life of a submissive, a slave to her man, or simply wanting to be spanked in the bedroom. I am 36 years old with two children and have always led a vanilla lifestyle but have dreamed of something more erotic, loving and disciplining form of a relationship.


RT is a well experienced dominant who has no patience in dealing with someone as new as I. But somehow I have warmed his heart and as you read the stories of our journey together you will see how I am learning day by day how to serve my Master and how my mistakes are punished and my obedience is rewarded.


I look forward in hearing your comments and perhaps suggestions on how I can be a better sub to my man.