Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Missing Waking Up Next To YOu

I miss you. I miss waking up with your early morning hardon pressing into my bottom as we spoon. I miss the leisurely fucking that almost always follows. I miss the days when I pretend to remain asleep and enjoy your fingers exploring my pussy and asshole. I miss those days when I wake early, and draw the sheets back gently to see your stubbly face, your naked body, your hairy chest, your dark nipples, your cock nestling peacefully in its curly nest. I miss taking it in my mouth, feeling its softness turn slowly to a raging hardon as I suck it slowly, waking you gently. I miss the grin that spreads across your face as, eyes still closed, you realize what is going on. I miss the way you pretend you are still asleep while enjoying my ministrations, the tell-tale gentle thrusting up to meet my mouth as I devour your cock. I miss the moment when all pretense is over and you open your eyes, and I know that the moment is near. I miss that moment when I stop sucking your rigid cock and move up to straddle it. To slide your big thick cock slick with my saliva into my dripping pussy. I miss starting to fuck you while rubbing my clit furiously. When you reach up and pinch and twist my hard nipples, while trying to hold back your orgasm till I've come. I miss that moment when my pussy begins to spasm, and I ride you hard, finally giving you permission you to release your jets of thick come deep inside me. When I collapse onto your chest, and kiss you deeply, feeling your cock soften inside me. I miss those morning fucks. Singular masturbation is nice, but it just doesn't do it for me like you do. I miss you so.




Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Good News

A lot of you voted for my daughter's friend over the internet as the best dancer. As a result she won and we were so proud and excited for her. She had won $5,000 and was interviewed by MTV. Well, I have more good news to report. Katie just got her first paid contract in LA to dance. She leaves in a week. Although my daughter is a bit upset she is leaving and my son (who is 5 year old) loves Katie and will be quite upset. She teaches his Hip Hop class on Saturday. But I and the entire dance studio are so excited and extremely proud of her. I will let you know when you can see her dance.

Now, for a Deadliest Catch update. The new season starts April 12th. Last night I watched an episode of the worst accidents that had occurred over the years. It felt good to watch my men out there risking their lives again for my entertainment. LOL

Hope you all enjoy the little peeks into my everyday life.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Oral Bliss

I am going to make this short and sweet... The other night was bliss for me. I had the best oral of my life. With just the right amount of teeth and sucking. And the scruff of his beard rubbing on the outside of my pussy. I have never begged to be fucked before but he had me begging for it. I was in such lust for him...I had to have him over and over again and even when he was done I begged for some more.  Have you ever felt this way girls?

Friday, March 25, 2011

TGIF

Happy Friday... This is a busy weekend for me as I try to juggle a 2 day dance competition with my daughter and run my son around to baseball practice and a game. But don't worry about me I like being busy at home.

I wanted to give a shout out to a friend of mine. He is 38 years old and sexy. He is also smart, nice, and very intense. He is looking for a single female to spend some time with. so if you are interested please leave me a comment so I can hook you up.

I would love to be able to fine someone for him. He deserves the best.

Have a good weekend.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

What R Your Odds

I know this is my 2ed post this morning but I just had to share this information with you. I have had several people ask me why turning 38 was so hard for me. The answer is I haven't enjoyed tuning any age in my 30's. And it's not because I was turning 30, 35, or 38 that was so hard but the thought that I will be 40 soon is heart breaking. I am not the type of person who loves to date. In fact I am quite stressed out about it. I love to go out and have fun but to meet someone new racks my nerves. Always thinking about how I look, How I act, Does he like me??? And the fear of rejection is always there. I can't tell you how many times I have turned down dates for these very real fears and my level of shyness. And now I fear that I will be 40 soon and will never find that person who truly wants to be with me. And of course I was watching TV last night when I saw these statics.


A few years ago the odds of a single woman in her 40's were more likely to be involved in a terrorist attack then she was to get married.

Women in their 20's are 86% more likely to get married. (Pretty good huh?)
Women in their 30's 74% (still good odds)
Women in their 40's 30% (What the fuck is the matter with people)

I don't want to think about the poor women who are older then that. So I have 2 years get get my life together. Then I'm going to hang it up and just use men for sex. LOL



Thinking Back

I was sent a very long article this morning and it was very interesting but too long to paste the whole thing here. But the first few paragraphs hit close to home. Before I knew what type of person I wanted to be I struggled with my feelings. And this article summed up exactly how I felt back then. I am interested in knowing if any of you subs out here felt the same way?

by Jay Wiseman,
author of "SM 101: A Realistic Introduction"

Let me guess. You're a woman, you're heterosexual, and you keep having strange, disturbing, recurring, and intense fantasies of a powerful, masterful man having his way with you.


Perhaps he tears off your clothes and takes you. Perhaps he throws you over his knee and gives you a long, hard spanking. Perhaps he ties you naked and spread-eagled to a bed and proceeds to alternately tease and torture you for hours. Perhaps he locks his collar around your neck and orders you to kneel at his feet -- and you do, both fearing and loving every second of it.


Have these fantasies become so intense and recurring that they make up almost every sexual fantasy you have? Have they become the centerpiece of your thinking when you masturbate? Have you looked through personal ads searching for the ones from men that mention bondage, spanking and related practices, longing but not daring to answer them? Have you thought of asking a man to help you explore your fantasies?


Do you worry that if you mention these desires to a man that you might end up being beaten or even raped? Do you wonder how on Earth you are ever going to reconcile your deeply submissive desires with your distinctly feminine beliefs? Do you have the increasingly strong feeling that if you don't act upon these feelings soon then you will go insane with frustration?







Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Sex Question

I was asked the other day, what is kinky to me? When I think of kinky I think bondage, swinging, role play, spankings, or the use of different objects (such as candle wax, ect) So when I was asked if giving a prostate massage while giving a hand job was kinky... I said no. He was taken back by that answer... I guess it could be considered kinky. I never really thought about it. My question would be this. Isn't that a dominate act? Or is it submissive if your Master tells you to do it?






Monday, March 21, 2011

Sex Games

What sort of sex games have you played? Role play is fun, making your sexual fantasies come true, or using toys are arousing. But do you like to play games? such as Strip Poker or Naked Monopoly?

I had a conversation with one of my follower friends the other day and he came up with some good ones using dice.

Lay out 6 spanking instruments and roll 2 different color dice. 1 die would tell you what instrument to use and the other shows how many wacks you should get.

Or you can always play the guessing game where you are blind folded and you have to guess what you are being spanked with...if you guess wrong you get another wack.

Or you can play a naughtier version of spin the bottle.

I can't wait to hear your suggestions. And I am sure other readers would like to know what everyone else are doing. Please share with all of us.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Birthday Wishes

OK...Thank you all for your birthday wishes today. Many of you have emailed me and I appreciate it very much. but I have to say I am a bit depressed about it. Not the first time I felt this way over a birthday. When I turned 30 I thought I was never going to get out of bed again. My mother threw a party for me and all I could think about was how old I was. Now fast forward 8 years and I hear my clock ticking loudly.


Not so much because it is my birthday but because I am 2 years away from turning 40 and I am still single. I suppose in my mind I feel like once I am 40 it is all over for me to find that guy who wants to settle down with me. I have been divorced now for almost 10 years. I look at all the other people in my family and they all found love in such a short amount of time.

My parents knew each other 1 month and they were ready to tie the knot. My brother met his British wife when he was visiting Japan. They moved in with each other after weeks of meeting. My grandparents met in a store and it was love at first site. Tonight my uncle is bring his new girlfriend to my dinner party. He says he is in love with her and he met her about a month ago...although is son wont be happy. His mother died about a year ago.

So as you can see I am still single, although I am seeing someone, but I don't see myself getting married any time soon. I would love to find a committed relationship where there is a lot of honesty and love. Am I asking for to much?

Anyway, my kids are excited about my birthday for some reason so I hope all is good tonight. Have a good weekend

I Need You

I've been home a few minutes now, awaiting your return, very much needing you here. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you all day, just imagining you with me, naked, wrapped around me, urgently fucking me...

I need that so much... I need you to fuck me

I'm still dressed in my jeans and loose white blouse, relaxing on the couch, trying not to think about it... but you keep coming back into my thoughts... and every time I think about you, I feel my pussy getting wetter... I need you to fuck me so much... it's tempting just to touch myself, to relieve some of this tension, this burning lust, but I want to save my orgasm for you. I want you to see just how much you arouse me . I am so fucking wet for you.

ahhh god... are those your footsteps that I can hear at the door...? Yes it is... My panties are soaked...then the door opens... and in you come, looking delicious... I smile at you, and you smile back - I think you've seen that look in my eye... and I step towards you... taking me in your arms before you've even taken your coat off... pulling me to you... I gasp a little, your hands drifting through my hair, tipping my face up to yours... and you kiss me... sensually... greedily... my breathe a little harder, not expecting this, feeling a little overwhelmed... but loving it... melting into your arms as you pull me into your body, wrapping your arms around me, feeling your hands in my hair as you kiss me passionately... lustfully...

I can't wait... I need this now... I've needed you all day... I push the coat from your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, then you move me back against the wall... I gasp again, still melting from your kiss, not wanting you to stop as I push you back, slipping your thigh between mine, your hands sliding down my body as we kiss a little more urgently, your tongue slipping into my mouth, a small moan escaping my lips.

Your body is pressed hard against mine, pushing and moving against me - I can feel the hardness of your cock through my jeans ... your lips are sliding against mine, your hands at my blouse, tugging open the buttons, finally reaching the last one, pulling my blouse open and gasping as you look down at me, your lips moving to my neck, licking, sucking, biting me...

My thighs are wide apart now, your body between them, your hands unbutton my jeans and pull them down as I kick them off. your hands sliding back up to my breasts, mine greedily down at your crotch, rubbing you through your pants as you bite gently on my neck...

I can’t take this any longer... I need your cock inside me...

You lift me up, wrapping my thighs around your, pressing me back against the wall, and suddenly I feel the head of your cock sliding against my pussy, hot and hard, skidding briefly against my clit as you kiss me urgently... I grip your thighs, lifting myself up, until my cunt is right over the head of your erect penis... and I groan, I begin to slide down onto you, thrusting your cock up deep inside me as you start to fuck me, gasping sensually, my pussy hot and wet along your erection, squeezing around you, wanting to take you deep inside me...

ohhhh fuck... and I slide all the way down onto you... unnhhhh god... god that feels so good... and you start to ram your cock hard and deep into me, my thighs gripping you tight as you press me against the wall... god yes... and I can feel the full length of your hot hard cock thrusting into me... filling me...... Can you feel my wetness dripping down your cock?... down over your balls?... ohhh I am groaning with each thrust... riding your cock... kissing you urgently again... your hands around my back, unclipping my bra... pushing it up from my breasts... you continue to fuck me... harder... more urgent...

ohhh fuck you feel so good... I‘ve needed this so much... Thank you for satisfying me



Thursday, March 17, 2011

Book Club

Hello...It seems like I have been away forever. I want to thank all of you for your warm support for my son. His surgery went well and besides some red eyes he looks and feels as good as new.

I believe most of you know that I love to read. One of my favorite authors is Jodi Picoult. I enjoy her books for 3 reasons. 1) She puts the climax of the story in the first chapter, leaving the readers wanting to know what happen and how it came to be. 2) The ending always has an off the wall twist. 3) Her stories always makes you think "What would I do in that situation" And that you can relate to the story in some way. Over my loooong weekend I had a chance to read her latest book. I'm not quite finished yet but the subject line has got me thinking...

The story is about a married couple who struggle with infertility and when the stress of losing their baby at birth they divorced. A year later the husband finds "God" and the wife find love with another woman. They end up married and decide to use her unused embryos to start their family. When the ex-husband finds out he sues the women for custody of the embryos saying God would not want these unborn children to be raised by a gay couple.

The story got me thinking of both sides if the coin. What do you think? Should a gay couple, male or female raise a child together? Do you think being gay is environmental or were you born that way? Do you think it is our business to care either way as long as the child is in a safe and loving environment?

Friday, March 11, 2011

TGIF

This post will be my last for the next 4 or 5 days. My son is having eye surgery and I will be home with him as he recovers. So if you don't see me, I am fine I just don't post from home. Maybe I will have a new story for you when I come back.

Other then that the kids are on Spring Break starting today at 12:30. There is no school, dance classes or baseball for a week. It will be a nice break fro me except for my son. But thank goodness he wont be down long. Kids are so great like that.

I do want to wish all our friends in California and Hawaii the best of luck and hope there is no reason for concern. And to everyone... I wish you all a wonderful and safe weekend.





Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Great Story

I got an email the other day from a man by the name of Master G. He has some really great stories as he balances 3 subs at the same time. So when his sub was being punished sexually he made her write to him about what happened. And to my surprise he sent it to me and I'm posting it here. ENJOY!

Sometimes I find the most peaceful time in my house is late at night when everyone's in bed. OK its not really late at night -- and not everyone is in bed but everyone is upstairs. I've had 3 beers -- by no means is this a drunk email -- but I'm feeling good right now. Figured it would be a good time to finish telling you about my experience the other day.

Well first of all I started out really nervous. I really, really thought that I wasn't going to hear from you for a while... cause you've given me the impression that if I fuck up really badly you're outta here -- and I figured that's what I did. So surprised to get your email. So i figured 1 of 2 things... either you were going to give me a beating or you were giong to just fuck me like nothing was wrong and then tell me your done.

Being bound to the chair and the blindfold didn't scare me - although I was somewhat nervous about not knowing what was going to happen. The duct tape scared me. I'm a mouth breather and once things got hot and heavy I really felt like I couldn't take in enough oxygen. I was certain I was going to hyperventilate several times and was definitely more focused on that than the beating my pussy was taking. But of course, as you were able to easily tell... my body reacts to situations differently than my mind. And once you take hold of my body - there's nothing I can do. And adding the bondage, the blindfold, the anxiety & the fear... it all makes for an incredibly intense experience.

And with the orgasms being fierce and ongoing -- there must be some incredible brain chemistry going on and I started to drift off into this place where I become totally unaware of anything else except what's happening to my body. And the sick thing is that it's not all pleasurable. You are relentless when you find the most super sensitive parts of my body that the touch is almost like torture. And any time i resist the power and control you have with just your words drives me crazy.

Then I guess there just comes a point where fighting what's happening is useless. I don't know exactly when that happened but I lost all the energy from my body and I just felt my mind drifting. That's when i started to get the feeling like I was just going to pass out. I had control of nothing. And every now and then you would snap me out of it... but i only wanted to drift. It was some incredible high. And I was having some of the most intense orgasms I have ever experienced. So intense that the seemed to be so overwhelming... like I couldn't handle having another one. And of course this was the same time when I was being flooded with emotions. There was so much going on at once and so many different feeling flooding my body and mind -- and it was totally out of control. It was such a weird feeling of going in and out of reality.

Then it's over... and although my body was exhausted and I was lying on the floor -- I wasn't sleeping. I was adrift in thoughts although nothing really made any sense. And as much as I tried to find my way back to reality -- i didn't want to leave the place I was in. Once I found my way to semi-consciousness that's when the flood of emotions took hold again. And my first reaction was to flee...but I didn't have a total mind/body connection and I couldn't just get up and go. That was quite surprising.

I loved this story... I think this guy should start his own blog but he wont. :-(


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Follow Up Post

I know yesterday's post was a bit odd for me. I sometimes get thoughts in my head and have no other way to express them except to write them here. My posts don't always portray any real scenario. I got an email last night from a friend that sort of sums up how I was feeling and how I should have explained myself...

Quote from friend:

I can't explain it . . but the lust I feel for dominating a desirable slut needs to be 'quenched' from time to time. There might be days when you'd be given 'notice' that I need to see you . . and you would not question why, for those days you know the abstract part of the 'using you' might fit into the scenario you describe in your blog. Your pleasure will be from knowing that its you I call . . and not some stranger.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Who Do You Think Of

Sometimes I feel used...how I feel when you want to have selfish sex with me. Its ok...I understand. I don't feel this way all the time and sometimes it is good. Keeps me on my toes...



You say you want me.

But it's not me you want.

You say you need me.

But it's not me you need.

I am no one. And anyone. It's why you come here, isn't it. It's so you can have me be anyone you want me to be. You don't need to see me or know what color my hair is. You don't need to look into my eyes and see yourself reflecting there. It's not what I'm here for. I'm here so I can become her. She's the one in your fantasies, the one I become as you read the words. I'm her, your wife, lover, girlfriend, mistress, sexual fantasy, the girl next door, the one you noticed walking by, the one you admire from afar.

It's her voice you hear when I tell you to fuck me. Hers which makes your body tremble. When my hand slides over your body it's her you feel. Her scent fills your nose and her taste lingers with you long after we're done. She's the one you want and desire. That's who I am.

I want you to think about her now. Close your eyes and think about her, all of her. Think about her soft skin, her beautiful smile, the curve of her hip, the swell of her breasts. Think about how much you desire her, how much you want to touch and feel her. Who is she? Or is it really me you want?

Friday, March 4, 2011

What do you think?

I usually dont read much into my sign but when I rread this I though it was so ture. For those of you who seem to know me, even a little, tell me what you think.

When your Venus is in Pisces, you love tenderly and compassionately. You are a peace-maker at heart, and your sensors are so strong that you pick up as much as possible, and perhaps more, from your partner. You have a sense of humor in love, although you have your shares of ups and downs, as you are a very sensitive person. Harshness bothers you. Wistfulness is almost as natural to you as breathing when it comes to love. No matter how you approach other areas of your life, there is a romantic side of you. You crave making a connection with a person—many would call it a deep connection, but spiritual is a better word, as your ideal love rises above rather than plunges below the mundane world.


You can be devastatingly attractive to some people, and your charm is of a tender and soft quality. Others sense your warmth, but also some elusiveness. As much as you want to connect and share with another person, you also resist being pinned down. You prefer to enjoy a certain amount of freedom to act on your feelings, rather than through schedules or impositions. Sometimes you attach yourself to people because you have a hard time saying "no". However, you also have a hard time pretending for any length of time. Your exit from a relationship may not always be direct and quick. You are not always comfortable with being direct, simply because you don't like hurting people's feelings.

You can sometimes seem like a chameleon in your relationships. People who share time with you, if they were to exchange notes about you, would likely have a very different impression of you. You can seem like a completely different person with different people--not because you have a weak character. Because you are an emotional sponge, you pick up the needs of those around you. Your adaptability comes from a lack of personal boundaries in matters of the heart. Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, and it carries with it each and every sign. This explains, to a degree, your ability to slip into anyone's shoes without so much as a blink. So, with Venus, the planet of love and relationship, in Pisces, it is easy for you to pick up the needs of your partner and even adopt those needs as your own. Where do your needs start and end? It can be hard for you to distinguish what it is that you want because you very spontaneously and naturally soak in the needs and wants of a partner.

You have an amazing capacity to understand people and to forgive. Just as you resist being pinned down to an absolute, a schedule, or a concrete definition, you also have a hard time drawing boundaries. In the process, however, you open yourself up to challenging situations and relationships. It is difficult for you to pass judgment on anyone in an absolute sense, as you have compassion for human failings, but sometimes it is the only way to close yourself off from a bad situation.

Update

OK today has to be better then yesterday...Not only was I in a pissed off mood but after work I got into car accident. Some uninsured motorists hit me from behind. Then after I got home I got a letter in the mail that my identity might have been stolen. When ,my son was born I saved his cord blood and when you do that you have to give all sorts of personal information. Well the letter stated that their computer system was hacked into and my information was on that system.

So now I have to get estimates and sign up for credit protection... but today is looking up. the boss is out of town for the next 10 days and thank god its Friday. I have a weekend of beautiful weather and time with the kids.

Thank you all for your comments and emails yesterday and have a good weekend

Thursday, March 3, 2011

ANGRY!!!

I love being submissive. I like the whole idea of being taken care of and I servicing my Master....But sometimes being submissive doesn't fit into my life. I cant go into details here but I will tell you I am so MAD today. PISSED at some things that have been going this past day that has extended from months of arguing back and forth. Anyway, all I want to do is vent but who will listen to me. Not Master...he wont hear of it unless I'm calm. But this subject matter needs to be expressed with anger and hate for a stupid system. I want to stand on top of the highest building and scream, stomp and punch at anyone or anything that stands in my way.


In fact I am writing this post as a way to get out my frustrations before I blow up at someone. Does anyone have a punching bag...that is what I need in times like this. Thank goodness I don't feel like this very often. I am usually a calm and patient person. Loving and understanding so when I do get angry and bitter I do not know how to handle myself.

So this is me throwing a tantrum... Do you feel it?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Guess How I'm Feeling

Tonight you're mine. You're my slut. My whore. I'm going to be greedy with you. I'm going to satisfy myself, satisfy my lusts on you. I'm going to take you. Take you the way I want to take you. Tonight is for me, and you'll do what I say, you'll be a slut for me, you'll please me whatever way I wish.

What is it about these words that turn me on so greatly. I love when Master would tell me what he wants and how he will take me. The roughness that will follow and the love that he shows afterwards. The anticipation for what will come next. Will he tie me up? A spanking? Forcing my head and body to do things that I normally would not?

All my nerves and excitement all mixed into a knot allowing my brain to think of nothing else but him. My only focus is the pain and the pleasure he allows me to have. I know tonight would be about him but in the end I get what I so desperately need. Love, affection, the big O...