Journal of my exploration into the domination submission world of D/s and how I struggle between my submissive heart and my logical feminist mind that tells me submission is wrong while my body and heart tell me it is sooooh right!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Tell me your ways
I am often asked what I think about when I am masturbating. I am sure it is much like your own fantasies but here is how I liked to be fucked or dream about being fucked. I suppose they are pretty tamed and would love to know if yours differ from mine...
My thighs wrapped around you, my fingernails clawing your back, my body arching, I'm gasping your name as you thrust deep and hard...
From behind, your hands gripping my hips, the hot slap of your belly against my ass as you plunge deep, my fingers at my clit, masturbating as you fuck me...
On your back, looking up at me, your hands on my breasts, watching as I ride you, my face flushed, my pussy squeezing around your cock as I move against you...
Up against the wall, passionate and urgent, somewhere anyone might see us, hands in each other's clothing, stroking, tugging, clinging to you as your erection slides deep inside me, kissing greedily, helpless with lust...
On my back, your cock deep inside me, pulsing deliciously, another girl straddling my face, my tongue lapping greedily at her cunt, you wanting her to come all over my face, your hands on her breasts, her body, as my fingers thrust deep into her cunt, both of us wanting to make her cum...
Over the back of the couch, my skirt tugged up around my waist, my panties around my ankles, fucking me as you please, taking me for your own pleasure, spanking me hard, making me beg to be fucked...
Watching me going down on you, your hands in my hair, your cock fucking my mouth, cumming urgently over my face, hot and wet, your cum smeared on my lips...
With another couple on the bed, watching them fuck as we move together, all our bodies in rhythm, watching their bodies push and move and writhe and fuck, knowing that their orgasms will trigger our own...
Your cock in my pussy, his cock in my mouth, both of us so close to orgasm, his fingers skidding around your clit as I suck him, you watching as I cum urgently, my own orgasm following moments before yours, cumming over my face, belly, both of us groaning intensely...
Going down on me, caressing me with your lips, your fingers, your tongue, licking me, tasting me, wanting me to cum, hard and wet, all over your face...
Fucking me from behind as I go down on her, her thighs spread wide, watching her arch up to me as I lap at her dripping wet pussy, your cock pulsing deep inside me, my wetness pouring down your cock as I cum hard...
Our bodies wet, dripping with warm oil, slipping and sliding together, wet sounds splashing with each move, wanting you to cum all over again.
My thighs wrapped around you, my fingernails clawing your back, my body arching, I'm gasping your name as you thrust deep and hard...
From behind, your hands gripping my hips, the hot slap of your belly against my ass as you plunge deep, my fingers at my clit, masturbating as you fuck me...
On your back, looking up at me, your hands on my breasts, watching as I ride you, my face flushed, my pussy squeezing around your cock as I move against you...
Up against the wall, passionate and urgent, somewhere anyone might see us, hands in each other's clothing, stroking, tugging, clinging to you as your erection slides deep inside me, kissing greedily, helpless with lust...
On my back, your cock deep inside me, pulsing deliciously, another girl straddling my face, my tongue lapping greedily at her cunt, you wanting her to come all over my face, your hands on her breasts, her body, as my fingers thrust deep into her cunt, both of us wanting to make her cum...
Over the back of the couch, my skirt tugged up around my waist, my panties around my ankles, fucking me as you please, taking me for your own pleasure, spanking me hard, making me beg to be fucked...
Watching me going down on you, your hands in my hair, your cock fucking my mouth, cumming urgently over my face, hot and wet, your cum smeared on my lips...
With another couple on the bed, watching them fuck as we move together, all our bodies in rhythm, watching their bodies push and move and writhe and fuck, knowing that their orgasms will trigger our own...
Your cock in my pussy, his cock in my mouth, both of us so close to orgasm, his fingers skidding around your clit as I suck him, you watching as I cum urgently, my own orgasm following moments before yours, cumming over my face, belly, both of us groaning intensely...
Going down on me, caressing me with your lips, your fingers, your tongue, licking me, tasting me, wanting me to cum, hard and wet, all over your face...
Fucking me from behind as I go down on her, her thighs spread wide, watching her arch up to me as I lap at her dripping wet pussy, your cock pulsing deep inside me, my wetness pouring down your cock as I cum hard...
Our bodies wet, dripping with warm oil, slipping and sliding together, wet sounds splashing with each move, wanting you to cum all over again.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Another News Story
It has been a slow week for me. I just don't have it in me to write this erotic stories this week. Sorry to you all. But again I found a news story that just seemed crazy and unfair. A few weeks ago I attached a story where a woman was caned to death and today is a story where a 14 year old girl was flogged after being raped by a 40 year old cousin. WTF? Our justice system isnt the best but we should feel lucky to live in a country that respects the rights of the victim...
A 14-year-old Bangladeshi girl allegedly raped by a much older cousin has died after being publicly flogged for adultery, media reports said.
Hena Begum was sentenced to receive 100 lashes by a village council made up of elders and Muslim clerics in the district of Shariatpur, about 35 miles from the capital, Dhaka, the BBC said today.
She endured about 80 lashes before collapsing Monday, according to The Daily Star, a Bangladeshi newspaper. Her family took her to a hospital, where she died.
"What sort of justice is this? My daughter has been beaten to death in the name of justice. If it had been a proper court then my daughter would not have died," Dorbesh Khan, the girl's father, told the BBC.
Family members said Hena was raped by a 40-year-old married cousin, The Daily Star said. The man's family beat up the teen, then accused of her adultery, the newspaper said.
The very next day, she was sentenced to the flogging in a fatwa, or religious ruling, issued by the village council under Islamic Shariah law, the BBC said.
Her father was also told pay a fine of about $700, police told the BBC.
Four people, including a Muslim cleric, have been arrested in connection with Hena's death, the BBC said. Police said they were looking for another 14 people in the case.
Bangladesh's high court has ordered district officials in Shariatpur to explain why they did not protect the girl, The Daily Star said. The court ruled eight months ago that Shariah punishment was illegal.
In December, a 40-year-old woman in Rajshahi district died after she was publicly caned for allegedly carrying on an affair with her stepson.
A 14-year-old Bangladeshi girl allegedly raped by a much older cousin has died after being publicly flogged for adultery, media reports said.
Hena Begum was sentenced to receive 100 lashes by a village council made up of elders and Muslim clerics in the district of Shariatpur, about 35 miles from the capital, Dhaka, the BBC said today.
She endured about 80 lashes before collapsing Monday, according to The Daily Star, a Bangladeshi newspaper. Her family took her to a hospital, where she died.
"What sort of justice is this? My daughter has been beaten to death in the name of justice. If it had been a proper court then my daughter would not have died," Dorbesh Khan, the girl's father, told the BBC.
Family members said Hena was raped by a 40-year-old married cousin, The Daily Star said. The man's family beat up the teen, then accused of her adultery, the newspaper said.
The very next day, she was sentenced to the flogging in a fatwa, or religious ruling, issued by the village council under Islamic Shariah law, the BBC said.
Her father was also told pay a fine of about $700, police told the BBC.
Four people, including a Muslim cleric, have been arrested in connection with Hena's death, the BBC said. Police said they were looking for another 14 people in the case.
Bangladesh's high court has ordered district officials in Shariatpur to explain why they did not protect the girl, The Daily Star said. The court ruled eight months ago that Shariah punishment was illegal.
In December, a 40-year-old woman in Rajshahi district died after she was publicly caned for allegedly carrying on an affair with her stepson.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
News Story
What is the world coming to? I read this article about a nun who lied about being raped to cover up an affair she had. She was sneaking this guy into the convent. LOL I listed this article bellow but it got me wondering what kind of kinky sex was this nun having. Did she have wild passionate sex...so crazy that when she was caught she had to say she was raped. Now she may have to spend a year in jail for this crime. Was is really worth it? Crazy world we live in....I am secretly rooting for the nun.
A nun with a small Christian sect has allegedly confessed that she made up a story about being raped to cover up an affair with a convenience store worker she had sneaked into the convent, the New York Daily News reported.
The nun, identified as Mary Turcotte, 26, originally told police she had been attacked by a stranger on Jan. 22 as she walked on Glenwood Avenue in Brooklyn.
Police sources told the newspaper that Turcotte, who is white, said she was attacked and choked into unconsciousness by a 40- to 50-year-old black man. When she came to, she was seminude and lying in a snow bank about eight blocks from where the attack occurred, she reportedly told police.
She later admitted to police that she made the whole thing up to cover her tracks after bringing a bodega worker into the convent for consensual sex, the Daily News said.
"Nothing happened; none of it," a woman who answered the door at the convent told the Daily News. "It was all proven to be false. It wasn't her fault. She is going to move out and we are going to get her some help."
Jones has denied any wrongdoing. She is scheduled to appear in court next month on two misdemeanor counts of falsifying records. If convicted, she could be sentenced to up to a year in jail.
The New York Police Department said it was not clear whether charges would be filed against Turcotte.
"It is still an ongoing investigation," NYPD spokesman Sgt. Kevin Hayes told AOL News.
A nun with a small Christian sect has allegedly confessed that she made up a story about being raped to cover up an affair with a convenience store worker she had sneaked into the convent, the New York Daily News reported.
The nun, identified as Mary Turcotte, 26, originally told police she had been attacked by a stranger on Jan. 22 as she walked on Glenwood Avenue in Brooklyn.
Police sources told the newspaper that Turcotte, who is white, said she was attacked and choked into unconsciousness by a 40- to 50-year-old black man. When she came to, she was seminude and lying in a snow bank about eight blocks from where the attack occurred, she reportedly told police.
She later admitted to police that she made the whole thing up to cover her tracks after bringing a bodega worker into the convent for consensual sex, the Daily News said.
"Nothing happened; none of it," a woman who answered the door at the convent told the Daily News. "It was all proven to be false. It wasn't her fault. She is going to move out and we are going to get her some help."
Jones has denied any wrongdoing. She is scheduled to appear in court next month on two misdemeanor counts of falsifying records. If convicted, she could be sentenced to up to a year in jail.
The New York Police Department said it was not clear whether charges would be filed against Turcotte.
"It is still an ongoing investigation," NYPD spokesman Sgt. Kevin Hayes told AOL News.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I'm Suffering
Yes, Master, god, yes, please…” I moan. “Take me, use me, hurt me, please.”
He looks at me spread out before him, my body taut with anticipation. Each limb is bound by leather restraints, my eyes dark behind the blindfold. He has already used me once and plans on taking me once again for his pleasure. I love the look of him, the feel of him. He is what I need, what I'm going to have. I'm going to make him dominate to me completely. Make him not want to stop pleasing me. OOOOOH YEA!
He backs off a little. “I think you want it too badly. You’re being too greedy. You’ll get it when I’m ready to give it.”
The altiment tease. The torture of his desire upon me wants me want him more. The passion builds as I lie there, helpless. Please end my suffering Master... PLEASE SIR
He looks at me spread out before him, my body taut with anticipation. Each limb is bound by leather restraints, my eyes dark behind the blindfold. He has already used me once and plans on taking me once again for his pleasure. I love the look of him, the feel of him. He is what I need, what I'm going to have. I'm going to make him dominate to me completely. Make him not want to stop pleasing me. OOOOOH YEA!
He backs off a little. “I think you want it too badly. You’re being too greedy. You’ll get it when I’m ready to give it.”
The altiment tease. The torture of his desire upon me wants me want him more. The passion builds as I lie there, helpless. Please end my suffering Master... PLEASE SIR
Monday, January 31, 2011
A Master Question
This is a question to all you Doms out there... Have you ever taken a beating from a cane, whip, other instrument in order to see what it feels like to the subs that take it from you? Do you feel it is important to know how much control you hold in your hands?
Do you want the whole experience of a session from the preparation to the after care? Would it make you appreciate her more to know how it feels to be on her side?
I do not think I have it in me to try and spank or dominate my Dom in any way. And much as I would sometimes love to see how much of a lashing my Master can take, I would not personally be able to do it.
I not sure how one would go about in sharing this experience. I am sure having your sub do this to you would not be ideal (it would be rather confusing if you ask me) But if, as a Dom where to have a role reversal session...would that make you a better Master to your slave / submissive girl?
Do you want the whole experience of a session from the preparation to the after care? Would it make you appreciate her more to know how it feels to be on her side?
I do not think I have it in me to try and spank or dominate my Dom in any way. And much as I would sometimes love to see how much of a lashing my Master can take, I would not personally be able to do it.
I not sure how one would go about in sharing this experience. I am sure having your sub do this to you would not be ideal (it would be rather confusing if you ask me) But if, as a Dom where to have a role reversal session...would that make you a better Master to your slave / submissive girl?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Question For You
I love to know about the people. Especially the ones that read my blog. I would like to set up a few questions, you can respond here or my email but please take the time to answer. If it works out I will have new questions next week. It seems everyone's blog has something they like to do on a weekly basis so maybe this will be mine. OK...here we go
1. Tell me a little about you. How you go into D/s or what makes you curious about the lifestyle?
2. Do you have a blog of your own? If I do not already have it listed on the right please send me your link.
3. Can you remember how you found my blog? And how long have you been following?
Ok...that's it for now. Its up to you. Have a great day
1. Tell me a little about you. How you go into D/s or what makes you curious about the lifestyle?
2. Do you have a blog of your own? If I do not already have it listed on the right please send me your link.
3. Can you remember how you found my blog? And how long have you been following?
Ok...that's it for now. Its up to you. Have a great day
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A Story I Want To Tell
I know some of my posts arn't always about sex. I use my blog at time to shout out my feelings when I don't think anyone else will listen. Over the weekend I was very busy and as most of you know I have been having pain in my neck for over a week. So I decided to take a pain reliever which turn out I was highly allergic to. Anyway as it turned out (I went to the doctor last night) I got a bad lymph note infection due to a misquote or ant bite...that was the cause of my pain, so the doctor gave me some strong antiboics and steroids and amazingly I feel a lot better today...He and about 10 others told me I should have gone to the doctor a week ago. So I know...You told me so. LOL
Anyway as I was sitting at home thinking about how my health is falling apart I kept remembering about a woman that I met while ago working at the hospital ER. This was about 12 years ago and although I thought of her many times it never seems too get easier to get over the guilt I had for her. I know it wasn't my fault but telling my head that has been another story.
A woman walks into the ER, she was 22 years old, obese, had a baby boy 4 days earlier, and came to the ER saying she had breast pain and shortness of breathe on and off all day. The nurses looked at her and sent her to an area called Quick Care. My best friend at the time was the nurse practitioner who looked at her and sent her home saying she had a cold like symptoms. The woman (a name I cant not tell you here, but will never forget) felt better and left. I happened to be walking though the waiting room when a older woman stopped me and told me there was a woman on the toilet who could not get up because he cant breathe and was in a lot of pain. I was working as a patient liaison with a little bit of a medical background, so I went in to see how I can help. The woman told me that she saw Kathy in Quick Care and that she had had a bad cold. I told her I would look into for her and would be right back.
I went to Kathy and she said (in not such a nice way) that the woman was obese, and when you have a cold and you are walking around you can feel out of breathe, and because she was breast feeling her baby her breast hurt. OK enough said I went to the bath room, this woman was very nice and I told her (in a much nicer way) what Kathy said but if she feels this bad I will get her back to the main ER now and have her sseen by a doctor. The woman said Thank you to me and that she was feeling a lot better and will go home to rest. So that is what she did. the time was 5:35pm.
I went home that night about 11:00... but I made sure I documented every thing that happen but I left the report in my desk with the intention of putting it in the chart when I got back to work. I came back to work at 11:00 am with people whispering and gossiping how this woman came into the ER last night at 12:30 dead and how she was seen by Kathy in Quick Care.
I almost dropped to the floor. I went to my desk and got my notes and saw the nursing supervisor, and told her what happen. I didn't know at the time that Kathy never mentioned I came and told her about what happen in the bathroom. She made up a story to save her ass. The woman died of a pulmonary embolism ( a blood clot to the lungs) This can happen shortly after a serious injury, surgery or birth of a child. All the syptoms that I saw were classic. I didn't have enough medical background to know this but I have always felt I should have fought harder for her. She now has a 12 year old son that grew up with out a mother.
This case went to court and I spent 2 years having to tell my story. My best friend was fired from the hospital and lost her medical license and the nurse was suspended for a while. I was commended for trying to help this poor woman and for good note taking. I have always felt a lot of guilt... I sometimes wonder if it was worth it. The issue is the woman is still dead and I no longer have Kathy as a friend. I think she was a great practitioner who got lazy for a moment.
I am not sure why I share this with all of your today but sometimes I feel like I have to tell someone. Thank you friends.
Anyway as I was sitting at home thinking about how my health is falling apart I kept remembering about a woman that I met while ago working at the hospital ER. This was about 12 years ago and although I thought of her many times it never seems too get easier to get over the guilt I had for her. I know it wasn't my fault but telling my head that has been another story.
A woman walks into the ER, she was 22 years old, obese, had a baby boy 4 days earlier, and came to the ER saying she had breast pain and shortness of breathe on and off all day. The nurses looked at her and sent her to an area called Quick Care. My best friend at the time was the nurse practitioner who looked at her and sent her home saying she had a cold like symptoms. The woman (a name I cant not tell you here, but will never forget) felt better and left. I happened to be walking though the waiting room when a older woman stopped me and told me there was a woman on the toilet who could not get up because he cant breathe and was in a lot of pain. I was working as a patient liaison with a little bit of a medical background, so I went in to see how I can help. The woman told me that she saw Kathy in Quick Care and that she had had a bad cold. I told her I would look into for her and would be right back.
I went to Kathy and she said (in not such a nice way) that the woman was obese, and when you have a cold and you are walking around you can feel out of breathe, and because she was breast feeling her baby her breast hurt. OK enough said I went to the bath room, this woman was very nice and I told her (in a much nicer way) what Kathy said but if she feels this bad I will get her back to the main ER now and have her sseen by a doctor. The woman said Thank you to me and that she was feeling a lot better and will go home to rest. So that is what she did. the time was 5:35pm.
I went home that night about 11:00... but I made sure I documented every thing that happen but I left the report in my desk with the intention of putting it in the chart when I got back to work. I came back to work at 11:00 am with people whispering and gossiping how this woman came into the ER last night at 12:30 dead and how she was seen by Kathy in Quick Care.
I almost dropped to the floor. I went to my desk and got my notes and saw the nursing supervisor, and told her what happen. I didn't know at the time that Kathy never mentioned I came and told her about what happen in the bathroom. She made up a story to save her ass. The woman died of a pulmonary embolism ( a blood clot to the lungs) This can happen shortly after a serious injury, surgery or birth of a child. All the syptoms that I saw were classic. I didn't have enough medical background to know this but I have always felt I should have fought harder for her. She now has a 12 year old son that grew up with out a mother.
This case went to court and I spent 2 years having to tell my story. My best friend was fired from the hospital and lost her medical license and the nurse was suspended for a while. I was commended for trying to help this poor woman and for good note taking. I have always felt a lot of guilt... I sometimes wonder if it was worth it. The issue is the woman is still dead and I no longer have Kathy as a friend. I think she was a great practitioner who got lazy for a moment.
I am not sure why I share this with all of your today but sometimes I feel like I have to tell someone. Thank you friends.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Boy I'm Hot
I am not sure if I should bring this up as it is sort of embarrassing but I think it is some what of a public service announcement. Every once in a while I come up with a way to pleasure myself completely by accident. Like when I am sitting at my desk and I tend to sit on my foot...one day I started to rub my clit against it and I get myself off. Or like using the shower head to pulsate my clit. God, I love that.
So the other day the a/c unit in my house broke. So I put on some very light pjs with no panties on. And I was sitting next to my fan...then for some reason the breeze from my fan travels up my pant leg. OMG! the feeling was so great. Not enough to make me cum but it felt so incredibly good. Sort of like right have you are given oral and your partner blows on you. It is just a cool feeling when your feeling hot.
I was told yesterday that I might be some sort of sex attack . That I have a high intense imagination when it comes to sex. That I seem to always be in some state of hornyness. I disagreed with this person's assessment but now after masturbating to a fan, I think he might be right...LOL
So the other day the a/c unit in my house broke. So I put on some very light pjs with no panties on. And I was sitting next to my fan...then for some reason the breeze from my fan travels up my pant leg. OMG! the feeling was so great. Not enough to make me cum but it felt so incredibly good. Sort of like right have you are given oral and your partner blows on you. It is just a cool feeling when your feeling hot.
I was told yesterday that I might be some sort of sex attack . That I have a high intense imagination when it comes to sex. That I seem to always be in some state of hornyness. I disagreed with this person's assessment but now after masturbating to a fan, I think he might be right...LOL
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Can You Feel Me
Have you ever thought of someone when your feeling lonely? That it had been so long since you were together. Do you miss the smell of them on your skin? Miss the smell of sex in the room. The musky scent of sweat, lust and greed. I love that scent. It's unmistakable when you walk into a room where two people have had sex. It can linger for hours, days even. The smell can envelop you and welcome you. And it can make you want more. Much more.
I'm feeling insatiable today. I'm horny. I want sex. I'm craving it. I want to be ravished. I want to be desired. Do you feel it? My skin is hot to the touch. My body wants your touch. It wants to feel your hands crawling up and down all over me. I don't want it sweet and gentle. I want it urgent and rough. I want to be fucked. I need you to fuck me. Will you? Will you give me what I need? Will you fuck me the way I want?
I'm feeling insatiable today. I'm horny. I want sex. I'm craving it. I want to be ravished. I want to be desired. Do you feel it? My skin is hot to the touch. My body wants your touch. It wants to feel your hands crawling up and down all over me. I don't want it sweet and gentle. I want it urgent and rough. I want to be fucked. I need you to fuck me. Will you? Will you give me what I need? Will you fuck me the way I want?
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