Ok…today’s post is about me rambling. So forgive me if it doesn’t make much since. Last night I was talking with Sir. He was asking me all sorts of questions about how I felt about our current relationship. I found it really hard to answer him. I am not sure why except that it is hard for me to find words to express how I feel. I seem to be able to write about all sorts of subjects and I am very open and honest about what I am writing about but for some reason when it comes to actual talking I find it so hard at times.
I think I am afraid that what I say will be turned against me in some way. That I don’t have time to think before I speak like I do when I am writing. It is not the fault of Sir that I can not open up to him. And I hope he understands that it is not personal. As you all know I was head over heels for Master C for some time and when he emotionally hurt me I felt broken and still do in some ways.
I never once spoke about what happen with Master C on the blog. I did this because I didn’t want to disrespect him or sound like I was some out of control bitch. So I kept all my feelings bottled up and when Sir was asking me questions I just couldn’t bring myself to just spill it, about my feelings or what is simply going through my head.
Ok, I know this post doesn’t make much since but I spit it out and I feel somewhat better now. Thank you…