Monday, August 2, 2010

Rambling

Ok…today’s post is about me rambling. So forgive me if it doesn’t make much since. Last night I was talking with Sir. He was asking me all sorts of questions about how I felt about our current relationship. I found it really hard to answer him. I am not sure why except that it is hard for me to find words to express how I feel. I seem to be able to write about all sorts of subjects and I am very open and honest about what I am writing about but for some reason when it comes to actual talking I find it so hard at times.



I think I am afraid that what I say will be turned against me in some way. That I don’t have time to think before I speak like I do when I am writing. It is not the fault of Sir that I can not open up to him. And I hope he understands that it is not personal. As you all know I was head over heels for Master C for some time and when he emotionally hurt me I felt broken and still do in some ways.
I never once spoke about what happen with Master C on the blog. I did this because I didn’t want to disrespect him or sound like I was some out of control bitch. So I kept all my feelings bottled up and when Sir was asking me questions I just couldn’t bring myself to just spill it, about my feelings or what is simply going through my head.


Ok, I know this post doesn’t make much since but I spit it out and I feel somewhat better now. Thank you…

2 comments:

  1. reina--a writing pad can be a best friend, you can tell it all your secrets and they won't be repeated, it never judges you no matter what crazy shit you tell it, and it always lets you keep talking as long as you want. On the other hand, if you hook up with the right master, he will eventually become your writing pad, only much better. It's not much fin having sex with a piece of paper.

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