You asked me a question last night that I had a hard time answering. That is, what makes you choose me? I answered you "I don't know" and that is the truth. I keep thinking about this question... I suppose I find you entertaining, smart, in tuned with me. For years I have had these fantasies of someone like you. Someone who is willing to take control, someone willing to take all responsibility away form me. I have fantasized about being spanked and liking it... The reality is, it is a lot harder then I dreamed. The pain itself was far harder to take and giving up control is not something I am doing well with. With that being said, I still find myself calling you and asking you over. I enjoy your closeness. I like that you want to hug me even though I am not satisfying you.
I get disappointed in myself when I am unable to take anymore pain and you are almost forced to stop. I try to remain your in position as much as possible but at times it's impossible. But you do cut me a break and we continue the session later in the evening. And although I protest I bend over for you because I want to make you proud of me.
In the end, I am glad I was able to take what you have given me and I do see it as a true gift of your dominance.